Arabella - Toxicity

12. Life isn't as perfect as I thought

TW: ED, Mention of SA
~•~

I had been in LA now for a total of 3 weeks. In this time I had lost 5 kg, I was working out daily, eating one meal a day - if you could even call it that - and I hadn't had any alcohol.

I stood up from the bed, dizzy as usual but that was fine as long as Dean liked me... right? I went to the kitchen, got a cup, and opened the tap so I could get some water.

I was midway through my second glass when I felt two strong arms hugging from behind.

"You're so pretty" he mumbled against my neck and began putting light kisses on it. He hadn't bothered to put on anything so he was standing in boxers, not that I was dressed, I had the shirt from Alex on and panties.

Sara was with Dean's parents in Italy and they weren't coming home until next week which meant Dean and I had a lot of time for us self.

He pulled back from me and I immediately felt cold.

"Wanna go on a run with me?" He asked me while putting on some workout shorts and a compression shirt, he looked fucking hot.

"I'm kind of dizzy, another time?" He nodded and before I knew it I was home alone. It didn't sit right with me that he didn't care that his girlfriend was dizzy, Alex always cared. Yes, we had put a label on it after Sara had asked us if I was her new mommy. It felt nice having a boyfriend, but I also felt guilty; I was still comparing Dean to Alex, and a lot of times Alex would win. But Alex was complicated and not ready for a relationship, not to mention he had broken my heart thrice - maybe I'm being a little dramatic. Dean was nothing like that, he was caring, sweet, and most important of all: supportive, or when it came to everything but my appearance that is. I really liked Dean though, he was mature and all that shit.

"Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena
Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría y cosa buena
Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena
Hey Macarena, ay!"

Matt. He had changed my ringtone so it played Macarena when he called and I could not figure out how to change it back. I went into the bedroom and got my phone.

"Kelly's refusing to go out with us if you're not coming" Matt said the second I answered the call. It took a while to figure out what he meant but when I did I laughed a little.

"She really loves me that much, huh?" Matt probably rolled his eyes at that, he always rolls his eyes at my cheeky comments. "Why? Doesn't she have Kelly and Katie?" If the guys were going out then certainly their girlfriends was coming. "A mutual friend of theirs is holding a birthday party" typical. But this was a great opportunity right? Dean could meet my brother and his girlfriend,

"count us in" I said with a smile.

"I'll text you the details"

"Hey babe" I practically ran over to Dean to give him a kiss, though he pulled back making me confused.

"Don't, it's gross" he reasoned his actions. At first I hadn't thought that much about it and I just wanted to show him affection, but now that he said it I began to think about the small things, such as sweat.

"Uhm, Nick invited us to the club with him and the others, I told him we'd be happy to join" I said quietly looking down at my hands.

"Next time ask me first, but sure" He smiled and walked into the bathroom without saying anything else. I heard the shower turn on and I couldn't help but smile to myself as I placed my hand on the doorknob.

"Can I join you?" I spoke loudly through the door. The door opened and he immediately pulled me to him to kiss me. It was safe to say he didn't think about me kissing him while he was sweaty. My hands moved to his hair, I'm gonna miss this after he gets a buzz cut.