Final interlude "you helped Ren" and TPOF

Chapter 3 of TPOF (the price of flesh)

She had brief flashes of consciousness, but she couldn't really wake up. At those moments she felt confused. What... what had happened to her ? What was happening to her ? Sounds. Strong disinfectant smell. She tried to remember something. To understand. Steps. They moved away and came closer. Some touches. Someone... was passing her something. She felt wet. It was as if...people were washing it? In fact, every now and then she heard voices. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't fully understand what they were saying, only snippets. She seemed to distinguish the word "bandage" and effectively she had previously noticed a strong acrid smell, like blood and medicines. Maybe she....she was in the hospital ? Why ? On one occasion she even thought she heard the word "mum" in a desperate way. This agitated her, but not enough to wake her, the eyelids too heavy to open. The next time she woke up she heard several different voices, one in particular seemed very familiar to her. It seemed to her that they were talking about clothes. She tried to move, to reach out but she failed due to the numbness and pain. She managed to turn her head a little. The sight of her was strange. Blurred. As if something was missing. What she saw was very colorful. Flowers.... on a bedside table. She tried to speak, but her throat hurt too much, so only a soft moan came out. Someone immediately approached her figure with a familiar voice, with strange furry ears and a bushy tail. He stroked her head, then gently ran his hand over her forehead. She felt that his nails were sharp, almost like claws. But they didn't scratch her. "Shh, not yet. It's not the time. Continues to rest"-he had said it in a reassuring tone. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. M/C felt comforted by this and she went back to sleep.

It was dark when she felt a weight approaching her, from behind her. She could glimpse him, despite the darkness, through a small light on the bedside table, the enamel vase reflecting his dark, tapered frame. He passed his hand delicately over her forehead, moving her hair, as if in a gesture of tenderness. As he moved, before he enveloped her, he saw a slender hand in front of her face, its sharp claws glinting in the reflection of the vase. She didn't know why, but M/C began to feel strong anguish. She heard him inhale sharply, behind her neck, as if he were smelling her. He was smelling her. He held her in a hug, including his legs and tail. Strong, but not so much that it hurts. Mmmmm. Heat. While she was half asleep, she seemed to remember something. Sweet moments. Purr. Laughs. Safety. This reminded her of a name. Ren. Right. Safe. Happy. She leaned towards him, and he reciprocated by tightening his grip on her chest. But.... then why did the feeling of malaise increase ? She began to breathe faster and faster. She heard an intermittent sound, like a beep. Or like gunshots. Nail gun. That image came to mind. About her. On her body. It was using on her a short, dark figure, except for his eyes, glowing in the darkness. In the fire of the blowtorch. The same ones who were now staring at her. Oh no. No. It all came back to her. No. Terror. The humiliation. The tortures. Pain. Too much pain. But she didn't want to die. No. she had to leave. She had to get out of there. But she couldn't. Her chains bound her. He held her, throwing her to the ground, crushing her. She heard screams. The beep grew louder and louder, until it sounded like an alarm. Little by little her vision darkened. The last thing she felt was someone patting her head.

When she woke up it was no longer dark, the room lit by the sun shining through the window. The flowers on the bedside table were different from last time. This time, her favorite stuffed animal was even there. Ren was at her side. She had remembered everything. A tear fell from her only remaining eye, which turned into a cry when he hugged her. -"I'm sorry" - she continued to repeat, between sobs "I'm sorry". They remained embraced for a few seconds, until he pulled away. M/C almost panicked again, holding him by the arm -no! I don't want to....- he gently grabbed her arms, and then kissed her hands. He reset her IVs. "There will be no show. I came here to bring you food." He headed for the door and returned with a tray. All very nutritious dishes, not too solid, to allow her to eat despite her sore throat. "I don't think I can do it...."-she said, in a hoarse voice-"you have to pull yourself together darling"-Ren took the spoon and began to feed her. She didn't want to disappoint him, so she made some attempts. He wasn't pushy. All this moved her. All these attentions, little things.... Ren was so patient and loving now. His ears calm and pointed towards her. Kind words. Kind manners and gestures. But she knew the pain wasn't over. NOTHING was finished. Claws, and canines ready to bite behind a pretty face. She KNEW he was still mad at her. She gasped. She still loved him, she had never stopped, but at the same time she wasn't sure what he could do to them. When she ran away, she heard him say "kill the litter".Furious . But maybe she was wrong. She hadn't always done everything right either. Maybe he would take care of them, keeping them away from all the shit that was involved in their lives. M/C gasped, holding her hand to her mouth, shocked. Ren supported her, putting her back in bed and re-tightening the covers. He kissed her forehead "I think that's enough for this once. I'll let you rest." In fact, she still felt very tired. She wanted to ask his, but she didn't dare. However, before leaving and closing the door, Ren paused in the doorway for a few moments, as if he were weighing something, before announcing, "They're fine. All three of them." And he left with these words. Nothing else.

He had changed his mind literally at the last second, before M/C committed suicide. Because he told her so. Because she loved him. They loved each other. But of all the things she could do....leaving him and running away from him was the worst thing she could do. The one thing he ABSOLUTELY shouldn't have done. Everything he had done for her....did she have that little faith in him ? did think he wouldn't love them ? Did think he didn't know what she was thinking ?Fuck! He knew that having puppies would change everything. That they would take it away from him. The first thought had been to have her abort. But the idea that M/C was full of herself, of his seed.... had been too strong. The first time he had seen them.... he had conflicting feelings. But in the end M/C it was his. It had always been his. His sweet Pet. As he had promised her years ago, he would never let her go. He wanted her with him, in his shows, but he wouldn't share her again. He watched her while she was in a medically induced coma. He ran a finger over her missing eye patch. With the right care she would have recovered. He made arrangements for it to be cleaned and prepared. He brought some clothes and some prosthetics-like. Her body had changed, and he had to decide what was best for her. She examined her fake eyes: aaaahh, now she could decide that too. He was so happy. Always hers, but her eye.... it had TAKEN a part of her, and it had been so sweet, so warm. They were slowly decreasing the doses of anesthetic: she had to eat much more solid foods than the simple chemical nutrients the doctors were giving her. Soon he would be able to bring her food. It would once again be his hand that fed her. And the hand that could take everything away from her, when she disobeyed. Years had passed. He would have to retrain her. Maybe during the pregnancy he had loosened his dominance a little too much and that was why this had happened. This time it would be harder and more ruthless than before. He would show her how cruel he could become. But also show her how much he loved her.

He wanted to feel her next to him again, but she wasn't strong enough yet, so she didn't turn on the lights when she came to visit. He stroked her hair, which he had had the nurses comb. He settled himself on her bed, next to her, enveloping her with his entire body. He sniffed her, breathing in her scent. It was still the same, even if the last time he also had a strong hint of milk and pregnancy. Further proof of how close they were. He felt good and safe, so much so that he almost fell asleep right away, but M/C began to agitated, more and more frantically, her heartbeat on the monitor increasing to an alarm. Soon she was screaming and thrashing too. He held her down, blocking her and shouting at the doctors to immediately administer sedatives. But he didn't need their opinion to know what was wrong. PTSD. He should have expected it. He rubbed her head gently, the only meaningfully gentle gesture he had given her in the bunker. Help from the drugs or not, the action worked. It would take him some time, but he knew what to do. The training had just begun.