I'M MAKING MY WAY HOME | LESTAPPEN

Chapter One

Time does not heal wounds, but makes you learn to fake happiness
1. Chapter One

Max

I don't know how many sleepless nights it's been, but today I slept for the first time in a long time. And the reason for this is the alcohol I consumed in large quantities yesterday. I don't know how much I drank. In fact, I don't remember much, because come on I went to the party with the attitude that I wouldn't drink anything, my brakes let go. Glass after glass until I finally lost touch with reality. All I know are the stories of Daniel, who couldn't drink because he is on antibiotics. I reportedly vomited, argued with a wall, and then ran in the rain. And to my surprise, my friend wasn't angry at all. He wasn't angry at the fact that I had brought myself to this state, because it was probably the only time he had seen me sincerely smiling in three years.

Every day for the past three years, I've put a mask on my face with the feelings I've lost. A smile to suggest that I am happy. Everyone believes it, because after the thousand hours I spent practicing, now I can change emotions perfectly, without any stammer, constantly pretending. Nonstop playing an actor on stage, and only at night to be himself. To be the man no one wanted to see, because what they would see would make them want to fix me. But I can't do it anymore.

A knock on the door interrupts my musings. I rise from the bed, and a smile automatically appears, like the headlights on a newer car. I leave the bedroom and head for the door. I can feel my head still hurting. I've vomited three times today and I still feel sick. When I open the door, I see a smiling Daniel, who, compared to me, looks pretty damn good today. I neither have my hair styled nor good clothes. All I have on is an old, stained T-shirt and sweatpants. I wipe my face with my hands, opening the door wider for him to come inside.

"Are you still dating that idiot?" he asks reproachfully when he sees the skin on my neck, and the smile disappears from my face as quickly as it appeared.

"He has a name, Daniel. And so, imagine that my life goes on, so I have the right to trip over someone." I cross my arms over my chest.

"I'm not saying you can't. Just not with him." he croaks. I send him a murderous glare, but it doesn't make much of an impression on him. He takes off his shoes and avoids me, walking into the living room. I reluctantly move behind him, watching him act like he's not in mine at all, but in his house. "Is he here? If that's the case, mend him before I say something too much again." He says, referring to the party where he started shouting various uninteresting and unpleasant words.

"He's not there." I roll my eyes, sitting down on the couch next to him.

I watch as Daniel turns on the TV and starts looking for something interesting on TV. I started dating a certain boy a few months ago, and Daniel has been constantly whining about him since he met him. I don't know what he doesn't like about him, but still not directly, but we both know he compares him to my ex. It annoys me so damn much, but I try to be calm so that every conversation we have is not based on an argument, which is not easy. I'm not in a relationship. I'm not going to get into it either, because I don't allow such a thing as love. The word is an unfunny joke. People think that love is something forever, something true and sincere, but they are surprised sooner or later and understand that it's worth locking up this feeling so that it doesn't spoil us from the inside and outside.

I realized this too late and became someone I never wanted to be.

"So this one..."

"Can you stop talking about him?" I interrupt him irritably.

"I didn't mean to talk about him." replies indignantly. Of course he had that intention. I've known him too long. "Going back... So this film can be, or look for something else?" he comes up with an excuse.