What should have been 8

Chapter One

She smiled at the camera, the lights bouncing around the room. "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you," my voice sang rom behind the camera. All the lights were out exept for the candle on the chocolate cake. The smoke was rising in a soft plume. She was laughing a sweet laugh like sunshine and caramel.

Her eyes, a deep shade of red wine, sparkled with delight as she leaned closer to blow out the solitary candle. The sound of her breath washed over the room, a gentle breeze that carried with it the promise of a year filled with love and joy. She took a moment to make a silent wish, her heart racing with excitement and hope. The flame quivered, dancing in the wax pool before finally succumbing to the darkness, leaving only the memory of its presence.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I looked at the screen of my phone, the video from long ago playing. Her weet smile and voice making something ache inside my soul. When someone is dead, they always stay alive, but not this time. I always felt like if I killed someone they would follow me. Not in a harmful way, but as a guest in my life. Not her, she was never there. I missed her so much that it ate away at my soul. Her long black hair, her red eyes, and that smile she had when we completed a mission. All of her I missed, but her smile hurt the most. I swapped my consciousness with my pills, but I felt the emptiness remain. So I did the only thing I could think of. I went to see her. The graveyard was quiet, peaceful, the grass gently swayed as if it were trying to tell me something. I found her tombstone, and slid against it as I sat down. We didn't get her body back from the police, only an empty casket rested six feet below the stone, not even her soul was there to comfort me. I looked at the name on the tombstone, and I wondered what she would say if she could see me now.

I reached out and touched the cold marble, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. "Why did you have to leave me?" I whispered, my voice breaking. "Why couldn't we have just had one more mission together?" Tears welled up in my eyes, spilling down my cheeks. "I miss you so much, Eliz my sweet sweet Dorogoy." The nickname Dorogoy, dear in Russian, lingered on my tongue. I placed a bottle of 1964 Romanée-Conti, a gift from her, next to the tombstone. "This was your favorite right?"

The silence was deafening as I stared at the tombstone, willing her to appear before me. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, and tried to imagine her laughter, her voice. But all I could hear was the blood rushing through my veins, like a symphony of loss. "I'm so sorry," I said, my voice hoarse. "I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me."

As the night wore on, the stars began to twinkle above me, casting a gentle glow over the graveyard. I leaned back against the tombstone, feeling the cold stone seep into my back. "Dorogoy," I whispered, "I'll find a way to bring you back. I promise." I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small locket on a delicate chain. Inside was a picture of the two of us, laughing, surrounded by the chaos of the mafia life. "Until then, I'll keep this close to my heart." I felt myself growing tired and numb from the cold, but I didn't want to leave her. Not yet. I closed my eyes, trying to summon an image of her face, her voice, her presence. A figure stood in front of me, a thin body with a small waist and height just over 5'3. Short ginger hair tan skin with large gold earring adorned with big rubies in the center. He had blue eyes like the sea and stars. He wore a look of pity and a gray waistcoat with black pants and a white dress shirt.

"You know, Teo. It's not healthy to be out here all alone at night. You should go back home." Vittorio or as the mafia called him Rio's voice "Yeah, yeah. You're right." I stood up slowly, brushing the dirt and leaves from my pants.

Rio extended a hand to help me up, his expression softening. "The Mafia wants you back."

I glanced back at him, taking his hand. "Yeah, I know."