stolitz

chapter three

On his drive home, Blitzø struggled to not immediately break down. He was screwing his eyes shut, rubbing them hard, anything to repress his emotion. The words from his acid trip on the D.H.O.R.K.S incident were still affecting him.
"Everyone hates you blitzo"
"You're gonna die alone blitzo"
"Are you afraid of love, blitzy?"
"Are you scared that someday I may leave you as well?"
"All you do is ruin things, Blitzo"
"You caused the fire that killed your mother, it was all you blitzo"

"Shut. The. FUCK. UP." He shouted to himself, clawing at his skull, trying to get to his brain. He thought maybe, just maybe it would quiet them, but as always, it was unsuccessful. He swerved into an empty car park, not even bothering to align it with a spot, he was too sad to care. He walked out, slamming his van door, causing it to shake. He curled up, bringing his knees to his chin, gritting his teeth so hard that they may even shatter.

The things that Blitzø's brain were telling him were repeated so many times that they were getting more and more believable with each time they were spoken.
"I don't know, SHUT UP!"
He clenched his chest. Each time his head told him something, it felt like a stab to his chest, because deep down, somewhere inside him, he believed it. He began to tell himself that it was all true.

"It should have been you in that fire, not your mom, Blitzo"

That was the final straw for Blitzø. His old name was a constant reminder of his past and the things that he believed he caused. He slammed his fist so hard into the side of his van that it caused a dent.

"I know..."

It takes him a while to calm down. He looks at all the cars drive by, but none of them entering the car park. It was him, and only him. As he thought it will be forever.

Blitzø finds a sheet of glass by him, and he smashes it. He picks up a sharp bit of it and used it as a makeshift blade. He takes it up to his wrist and begin to slit it.

Blitzø crawled back into his van and made his way back to his apartment. He knew that Loona was still at the party with Tex.

"Your gonna be alone tonight Blitzo, just as you will be when you die."

"I KNOW, STOP FUCKING TALKING!"

He arrived home, and despite not eating anything all day, he had a non existent appetite. He refused to eat anything, and just curled up in a ball on the couch. He grabbed the horse pillow that lay beside him and hugged it into his chest.

Just as he was about to cry himself to sleep, his phone buzzed. He looked at the notification that appeared on the screen. It was from Loona. It read, 'sorry dad, I'm too drunk to get home, so I'm gonna stay here, ok? Also I'm gonna be WAYYY to hungover to work tomorrow. K, thanks, byeee love youuu'
"No she doesn't" the voices said.
"No you don't" Blitzø repeated.
"No one can"

He can't get over what the voices were saying.
"Your own daughter doesn't even want you anymore, your a pathetic friend, father and lover, Blitzo!"
Blitzø dragged himself over to the safe in his bedroom and pulled out a blade that was covered with thick layers of dried blood. *And we all know what he does with it🙃*

The next morning:

Blitzø wakes up, the bloody blade still wet from the night before. He picks it up, contemplating everything.
"You should do it, Blitzo!"
"Or maybe more, nobody will miss you anyway, your funeral will be a party!"
Blitzø wanted to disagree but deep down inside him somewhere, he knew they were right.
But he didn't do it.
He couldn't bring himself to.
Not yet.
He pulled himself over to the kitchen, his appetite still depleted, so he just grabbed a large cup of coffee. He chugged it down like it was water, not caring about the painful burn that came after the fact.
Blitzø crawled downstairs and reluctantly climbed into his van. All he could think about is how he hated it all, and how he fucked up everything good he had. His relationship with Fizz, Barbie, and his dad. How is dad would bruise him and constantly bring him to bleed, and Barbie just stood aside and watched. He thought he might as well continue what his father started. How Loona seemed to hate him, and Moxxie too. Millie seemed nice enough, but considering everything, Blitzø assumed that she was the same.

The words that he heard in the past, that his head kept making up to tell him were continuously swirling round and around like a tornado. As they say, repeat something for long enough, it eventually becomes true.
As Blitzø was driving to work, he saw Stolas' palace, with him at the balcony.

"You think he loves you, Blitzo? No, of course he doesn't, how could he? All he wants out of you is a quicky!" Blitzø heard in his head as he stared for a second, a slight shade of crimson creeping onto his face. But he quickly shook the feelings away and drove on.

"I'll talk to him after work..."

*End of chapter three*
Hehehe another cliffhanger! No but to be serious, I really hope you guys are liking this and yes, I know I promised fluff, and I promise you, it's coming! Don't come for me! But I'm about to start school again so I may not be able to add updates as often, but I'll try, and yeah, lmk what you think!
Ok byeeee xx
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