Regeneration

Chapter 55 - Better This Way

“And you’re sure about this?” I studied Lucas.

“I am,” he answered halfheartedly, “It’s a better arrangement, now, with your brother moving in and all.”

“There’s still a lot of space, Lucas. Marco’s barely here. He stays at Reya’s cabin most of the time. That’s an extra bed.” I reasoned, not making the conversation any easier for him. While the haste of his decision shocked me, his plans to move out of the cabin didn’t come as a surprise. He had made it abundantly clear that he didn’t trust Romero and Marco despite my vouching for them. Yet, I couldn’t help but think our conversation at the bonfire had cemented his decision. Did he now see me as equally dangerous as he saw them? For some reason, I needed to hear him say it. To admit that his firm trust in me had been fractured.

“Let Romero have it,” his eyes didn’t meet mine, “He’s been sleeping on that sofa.” When I didn’t say anything,  he went on, his voice softer, “Hailey, it’s–it’s just better this way.”

I decided not to fight it anymore. Having Lucas around was like having a walking reminder of the person I was before any of this. Whenever I looked at him or we spoke, my chest filled with a wistful sense of reminiscence, but more than just wistful feelings,  Lucas was a friend.  I wasn’t quite ready to let go of that yet.

“I understand.” I smoothed the sleeve of his t-shirt. His muscles tensed at my touch. Lucas’ eyes finally lifted towards mine. Taking a step forward, he embraced me in a tight hug. I wrapped my arms around him. I swore I could feel his heart pounding in his chest, or maybe it was my own.

“This isn’t goodbye,” he said softly, “I’ll still be here at the camp.”

“I know,” I pulled away to look at his face, “I’ll just miss having you around.”

“Where will you be staying?” I asked when we parted.

“With Bennett.” He reached for his backpack, stuffed with all his belongings. He swung one strap over his shoulder, sticking his other hand into his jeans pocket. For a moment, he stared at me silently.

“Bennett?” I gave him a questioning look.

“Yeah, he’s a pretty great guy, we’ve bonded a lot since I joined the militia. It’s just him over there at his cabin. He’s glad for me to crash with him.” We both started towards the front door, stopping right in front of it.

“Bennett, he–,” Lucas paused, “He reminds me a lot of my dad; it’s kind of like having him back in some weird, confusing way. I think he sees the family he’s missing in me as well.”

In the lull of silence that followed his words, I hugged him again, letting him know I understood him.

“Don’t be a stranger, Lucas,” I smiled, letting go of him.

“Couldn’t dream of it.” The corners of his mouth tilted up.

He opened the door, and we stepped onto the porch. Lucas and I halted, finding Romero, who had just finished climbing the last step onto the porch, in our path.

An unnecessarily awkward stretch of silence ensued as we all shared looks between.

“Heading somewhere?” Romero asked casually, noticing Lucas’ backpack.

Lucas just nodded at him before turning back to me and saying, “See you, Hailey.” With that, he briskly brushed past Romero and headed in the direction of Bennett’s cabin. Romero and I both watched him go.

“I wonder what I did to offend him.” Romero turned to look at me instead.

“Lucas is moving in with Bennett,” I explained.