Philloise Re-Written

Chapter Four

. . . so sorry to hear that Caroline is colicky and giving you fits. And of course it is too bad that neither Augie nor Belinda is amenable to her arrival. But you must look upon the bright side, dear Daphne. It would all have been so much more difficult had you birthed twins.

—from Eloise Bridgerton to her sister the Duchess of Hastings, one month after the birth of Daphne's third child.

Phillip whistled to himself as he walked through the main hall toward the staircase, inordinately pleased with himself. He'd spent the better part of the afternoon in the company of Miss Bridgerton and he was now convinced she'd make an excellent governess and that he had, in fact, done the right thing in offering her the job. She was quite clearly intelligent, and with all those brothers and sisters (not to mention nephews and nieces) she'd told him about, surely she'd know how to manage Oliver and Amanda.

And, he thought with a wolfish smile, she was rather pretty, and more than once this afternoon he'd caught himself looking at her, wondering how she'd feel in his arms, whether she'd respond to his kiss.

He shook himself to clear his thoughts.

It wasn't just her looks which intrigued him, however. In the few times Phillip had ventured into society, he had never encountered a woman who... shone quite so much when talking about their interests. Certainly not one so inclined to talking about such a variety of interests and theories about people, politics and everything in between. He would be quite happy to spend half a day listening to Miss Bridgerton speak. Then the other half could be spent appreciating her beauty.

And he definitely knew how to appreciate a beautiful woman. Why, before he married Marina –

Marina.

Phillip stood stock-still, allowing the shame and regret from his previous line of thought to wash over him. How could he think in such a way when his only priority should be safeguarding the legacy Marina and his brother left him? Melancholy or not, he knew Marina loved her children dearly and wanted more than anything to see them be safe and happy. It was a tragedy that it was only after Oliver and Amanda had arrived that she'd sunk into a world of sorrow and despair. It had been horrifying for Phillip, watching the life behind her eyes slip away, day by day, until all that was left of his brother's love was an eerie flatness, the barest shadow of the woman who had once existed.

He failed as a husband to her and he would not concede to failure as guardian to her children. Therefore, he would need to purge these thoughts of Elo- of Miss Bridgerton and leave her to carry out the task he was so incapable of.

Phillip pinched the bridge of his nose. He took a deep breath.

Finally taking notice of his surroundings, he saw that he had arrived at the base of the staircase. He checked his pocket watch. He had told Eloise that supper would be at seven and that he would meet her outside her door to take her down to the dining room. His father had allowed his own severe-looking governess to dine with the family on occasion, so it wasn't entirely improper.

Though perhaps Miss Bridgerton would prefer to dine alone? She certainly seemed comfortable with doing so when he found her in the kitchen, munching away quite happily on a ham sandwich. Ah, but she did say she was in search of company, so he was doing the right thing in asking her to dinner.

Then maybe he should have gone to her door sooner, to show that he too wished to dine together and wasn't asking her only because propriety demanded it? Oh, why was he worrying so? He was the man of the house and she in his service. It's not like they were courting.

Oh, shut up Phillip.

He snapped his watch shut and rolled his eyes to the ceiling. He closed his eyes. I wonder how she looks in her evening gown...?