Why am i here?

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I ran into my room slamming the door, and falling to the ground crying. I heard footsteps. I locked the door and ran into my bathroom. I got on my knees in front of the toilet and made myself throw up. Someone started knocking on the door "Anastasia open this door" it was my mom. I got up and opened the door "what?" I asked looking at her with a questioning look. She looked back at me. "Please don't slam the doors Ana, I asked you plenty of times" she said squeezing my hand and kissing my forehead. She has no idea what I do to myself, she has no idea what I keep inside. All she can see is the fake smiles and laughs that she mistakes as "real". "I know mom, I'm sorry" She looked at me. "How was school?" She asked sitting on my bed. I sat next to her. "It was okay" I lied . I wanted so bad to tell her it wasn't okay, that I get bullied everyday, that I have no friends and I feel like the outcast, the "unwanted one" and the teachers do nothing.

"That's great. Well I'm gonna go to the store, you want anything?" She asked "umm..I'll have a diet pepsi" I said looking around my room. "Okie doke" she said getting up and walking out of my room.

After she left I sat there thinking for awhile. I walked over to my brothers room. "What's up?" I asked "get out" he answered staring at the tv. I felt like saying "what if I died today? Or tomorrow, or any day soon. Then what?. But instead I just said "you are 11 I'm 16 don't tell me what to do" "this is my room though so get out!" He said pushing me out and slamming his door.
I just sighed and walked back into my room. I sat on my bed. Thinking. Thinking about the future, thinking about school. But mostly wondering if I will wake up tomorrow.
I laid on my floor and started doing crunches. I did 70 crunches and stopped. I stood up and did 100 jumping jacks.

I heard my brother yell my name.

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