FADING

The first time it happens is when Shigaraki Tomura is brought to him. Kurogiri had looked into eyes that lacked spark--lacked a light, even a shred of childish curiosity--and wondered why they looked so familiar.

He'd never seen Tomura before, but he'd seen that look. Something buried deep inside him told him so, and gave him a scrap of something that dragged something else bittersweet out. Dark hair and tears, and a name shouted in the distance, surrounded by rubble and rock. Blood as red as the eyes that bored through his mist and into his soul.

All for One had seen his first hesitation and made sure it was his last. A past life is a past life , he'd said. Forget everything stored in the recesses of his mind and focus on his mission and his mission only: protect Shigaraki Tomura. Guide him and mentor him when All for One couldn't.

That's the reason you were brought back from the dead , he'd continued, And you have me to thank for it.

Kurogiri believed him.

So, when Tomura stared him down with eyes that looked like the dark side of a blood moon, Kurogiri bowed and promised himself to never think of it again.

It comes in snippets sometimes, like maelstroms of colour to the colourblind. Knowing something is there but being unable to see it, in flecks that he pretends aren't memories.

It happens mostly when he's by himself. On the rare days All For One takes Tomura out and trains him, Kurogiri has his own night off, and he never knows what to do. His whole world is set around the kid, and when he's taken away, he's purposeless. Aimless.

So, he lets his feet take him wherever, and only when it's dark enough that the shadows form as cover. Which, usually, is to the alley behind the small warehouse where he's set up with Tomura, just by the docks. There's some houses there, not enough for him to be unnoticeable, but not few enough to be noticed either; tucked along the waterfront like a hidden city. It's peaceful there, enough for someone to think out loud and not be heard.

But Kurogiri doesn't think. He never allows himself to because it always strays too far in the wrong direction. The quiet anger in All for One's voice had deterred him the first time. He's not supposed to be his own person, not supposed to feel happy, angry, or sad, but when there's a splash behind him in one of the many puddles littered along the dark road, a spike flashes through him.

Fear.

It's shoved down quickly.

"Hello?" His voice is raspy as he calls out, a good portion of it from disuse. Silence answers, and another emotion threatens to bubble up. He steps forward, shoes clicking on the graphalt, and starts as a pair of bright yellow eyes blink back.

A cat. It's just a cat.

He wonders how he knows. Kurogiri hasn't seen a cat before, and most of the time the luxury of nature is whatever fish are dotted along the waterfront, or the occasional chirp of a bird. All things he notices, and all things completely pointless to tell someone about, but here's the first animal he's seen that he can actually touch. Not that he should.

The eyes blink again, and there's the faint flick of a skinny tail in the shadows. It watches him in the same way Kurogiri is; curious, and a little scared. It's been a while since Kurogiri had absolutely no idea what to do, and it's more prominent than ever when the cat begins purring and strolls over in all its slinking grace.

He takes a step back as it brushes up against his leg, tail high and curved, expectant. It wants to be petted, obviously, and is getting impatient that Kurogiri isn't doing just that, but he--

Can't. He shouldn't. If he's seen--

But it's his night off. All for One told him to memorise the layout of the surrounding town, which is what he's doing. Stopping to pet a cat wouldn't cause any harm. It's what he convinces himself as he crouches and hesitantly reaches out. As always when he touches something, it sinks into the mist, and then comes into contact with something solid. It's his hand; he feels all his fingers and his palm, but it's also not. Like it's just a shell, or a suit he's wearing.