The Miscreants of Xiphoid Camp [NOT UPDATING CURRENTLY]

» 2130 « Chapter 14 - Correspondence

Email – Fred Finch to the Viator family

Subject line: There's been an incident! :0

Hello hello, Mr. and Mrs. Viator!

Nothing to worry about! Your son is a delight! He's only gotten into a teensy little fight with another camper! From what I could gather, he seems to have been the chief instigator. I'm sure this is a one-time issue and won't happen again!

Neither one of them is hurt badly, but I would recommend speaking with Avior about the merits of keeping calm when provoked, knowing when to walk away, et cetera!

That's all! :)

Yours,

Frederick John Finch

Text messages – Archer Viator to Avior Viator

Archer: Just got off the phone with Mother. She's livid. I heard all about your little fight.

(opened 12:23 pm)

Archer: I know you read that.

(opened 12:23 pm)

Archer: She wants to speak with you.

(opened 12:24 pm)

Archer: Call me.

(opened 12:24 pm)

Archer: Stop acting this way. Quit playing this stupid game. I know you're reading this.

([5] messages deleted)

Archer: Nobody is buying that. Answer a text for once. And CALL ME.

(message not delivered)

Letter – Unknown to Fred Finch

Hello, Fred,

How are things at your branch? Any new recruits worth mentioning? Are your Enhancers under control? I find that they get far too strong far too quickly.

How's the Situation? Nobody's been hurt by one as of late, I trust?

I commend you for your efforts. A lesser man could not do half the things you do.

Don't be a stranger! Write back! I look forward to hearing from you.

Text messages -James Nairn to Bradley Robinson

James: hey

Bradley: Hey!

James: meet at the usual spot in 10?

Bradley: Yes! :)

James: can't wait to see you there

Conversation - Malvolio and, well, nobody

"Hello there, my friend,"

"...

"Do you suppose that I have made a grave mistake?"

"..."

"Well, generally speaking, in all areas of existence, is it possible that I, Malvolio, the greatest wholedemon ever to exist, may have blundered my way through a few aspects of demonhood?"

"..."

"Ah, you're right. Nobody's perfect and all that. Wrong!"

"..."

"I am perfect."

Conversation – Avior Viator and Marcus Gill

"I'm so bored,"

"Well, I'm not. I'm reading a really good book,"

"Good for you, smartass. I'm bored,"

"That's not my problem!"

"Talk to me. What's it like, being a stickybeak?"

"It was great until you showed up,"

"You wound me! This is why your real parents abandoned you!"

"I was NOT abandoned!"

"Yes, you were! Your real parents took one look at you and said wow, what a loser, and tossed you on someone's front porch!"

"Stop calling them my 'real parents'! My real parents are the ones I have now!"

"Sure, they are. They can't wait until you're gone forever. They love it when you're at camp because they get to live life without you,"

"Shut. The. Hell. Up!"

"Are you—are you crying?"

"No!"

"You are. You're SO crying right now,"

"..."

"Where are you going?"

"I hate you. I hope your mother regrets ever having you in the first place,"

"Don't freaking GO THERE,"

"Mistake!"

"Stickybeak!"

Conversation – Todd Boyce and Bradley Robinson

"Hey,"

"Hi! What's up?"

"Actually, uh, I wanted to ask you something,"

"Go ahead!"

"Where do you keep disappearing to? It's like, one second you're right there, and the next second you and James have both vanished,"

"Uh, um, I..."

"Talk to me, Brad. What's going on?"

"Well, you see, uh, yeah..."

"Oh my god,"

"Huh?"

"You and James!"

"Um, uh, I don't follow?"

"Are you and James, you know..."

"Todd! Stop making that hand gesture!"

"You didn't deny it!"

"...I didn't,"

"I KNEW IT!"

"Please don't tell anyone!"

"I won't. I promise,"