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Zelda felt bad. She really did. There was one thing in the world she hated more than being hurt - and it was hurting others.
Ever since the bonfire the girl had not seen Paul, and it was taking a toll on her. She spent the first two nights throwing up and wielding alone in her bed, hair greasy and her body smelling. Bella had forced her quite a lot of times to take a shower, go on a walk but her usually so quiet and reserved sister was now even more so reserved. So really Zelda didn't do a lot except for breathing. However, there was a thing Zelda did do, and it was to look out her window every night, just to see which wolves were out for patrol on that night. She did that religiously. It was her reason to get up, to keep her hope, to feel that little shimmer of life bubbling up inside her.
It was never Paul tho.
She had asked Jacob why he was nowhere to be seen but she never got a good enough answer. It was only when she texted Seth Clearwater and she scared him enough for him to tell her,
He said he needs some time to himself. He is hunting down the vampire, didn't want to patrol your house, guess he's hurt.
And when the girl went vomiting again and came back, she read another message from the young shifter,
Don't be mad at yourself, you couldn't have known! He will come around.
But that didn't help. She didn't want to hurt him and sometimes she even caught herself thinking that, maybe, she didn't dislike him that much anymore. And so the routine stayed put for almost three weeks after the bonfire. She went to school, went back home into bed, went to her window as soon as the sun was starting to set and then went to bed again.
It wasn't until one evening that she looked out her window and found two wolves at the tree line, one of them this beautiful darkish grey tone that had looked at her that day at the field when Laurent wanted to eat her sister and her.
Her eyes became teary and she quickly walked down the stairs as quietly as possible. Paul had seen that and slowly walked backwards into the woods, shifting back and putting on his clothes, telling Jared to go back a little but keep his attention on the Swans house.
Zelda rushed out her front yard and into the tree line, coming to a halt a few feet away from Paul. She didn't know what to do, however her heart was screaming at her to run into his arms, fall onto her knees infront of him and beg for forgiveness. To tell him that she was sorry, that she didn't mean what she said and she didn't want him hurting. That she'd forgive him if he asked and would try and start over with him. To forget every hurtful word, every remark that made her empty her stomach. That she wanted him, just as much as she thought he did.
However she quickly came back to herself when his lips parted and merely a firm „Swan" came out as a greeting.
„What?" she whispered, hurt that this was all she got after she had waited weeks for him to show up.
„I said Swan. That's the part where you'd say Lahote and go vomit or something." he replied harshly.
„Excuse me, I- What?" she choked out and the boy instantly regretted his choice of words. His heart was bleeding and he hated himself, and hearing Jared curse him didn't help. Zelda quickly noted that Paul had hated her now. Her dislike was slowly losing its hold on her, while Paul's hatred for her kept on burning hotter with each day that passed.
„Wait, I'm sorry I didn't mean that." he quickly rushed out when the girl turned around to walk away.
He swiftly took her arm and turned her around, her face suddenly being so close to his chest, making breathing suddenly the hardest task. Her eyes were full of tears but her facial expression was full of what seemed to be hatred. Paul's gaze was soft and his eyes full of sorrow.
„No, that's okay, I get it! You know, maybe what I said about you imprinting on me wasn't so wrong." the girl spat quietly and Paul snuffled, his tongue gliding over his bottom lip as he let out a sarcastic huff.
Don't! Tell him how you fell! Tell him you're sorry! Her head screamed at her, wanting nothing more than to stay in his warm presence. To feel protected, to feel seen and wanted. To not fear a leech coming for her, because he was there. He was there and suddenly the world seemed okay. But, of course she couldn't tell him that. So, Zelda did the only rational thing she could think of.
Zelda pulled her arm from him and started to walk back towards her house, each step making the ache in her heart return ten times worse. It hurt especially bad after it had stopped the short minute she had been pressed up against Paul. Now she had to force herself away from him, her body already sore and cold.
„Yeah, well I didn't choose you either." he muttered and Zelda stopped mid step. Her back to him and her head turning to the side just slightly, he could only see the tiniest bit of her side profile. She didn't respond tho she waited for his words to continue.
„But maybe you should be grateful. At least this way someone wants you." he finished, turning his back and jogging back inside. She heard him tell Jared to call Seth here and that this was a bad idea. She didn't care to ask any questions, quickly walking back inside and covering herself with all the blankets she got. She was freezing, more than she ever had and with winter approaching and the sudden loss of Paul's warmth, no heater would help her. Her chest was moving rapidly, the girl trying to regain the ability to properly breath. She let out a tear when her phone lit up and instantly she could make out Jakes name instead of Paul's. She ignored it all, just hoping she'd fall asleep quickly.
Her heart hurt, she knew Paul had gone away by now and her assumptions only got confirmed when she heard a wolf howl in the distance. She just hoped they wouldn't hear her cry.
