Camp Crack House

2. I don't get paid enough for this.

ITS THE CAMP COUNSELOR'S POV!!!

God damnit the lab exploded again. 

run a drug operation they said, it would make you rich they said.

I run out of the basement and bolt out the door with a cloud of smoke

I don't even care that I left camp counselors 2 and 3 down in the basement.

I'm glad to be rid of their presence. After having to watch mini little satan-spawns all day, I needed to be left THE FUCK ALONNEEE.

When I finally get outa the musty smoke, I'm met with HORRIFYING SOULLESS EYES. Those eyes had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BEHIND THEM. DEAD. NOTHING.

wait... that's a kid.

Who the. HELL IS THIS RATTY KIDD?????????!!!!!!!

She was staring at me like she never seen a human before tfffff. 

I try to yell back at my fellow counselors

"WHO LET THIS BITCH IN?"

oh wait yeah they're in the basement never mind I guess

suddenly this little brat starts speaking in her equally ratty voice.

"ÆHeheeeE err haiiii X3 oh em geeee this place is hella cute, do you live here? Ohhh this house is serving so harrrrrd" she says while aggressively twirling a piece of her hair until the entire chunk falls out from the root.

She takes the fallen out hair and shoves it in her pocket. She continues standing there shifting her weight on her feet while smiling like that weird thing I see sometimes in the outhouses.

I don't know how to talk to kids, I only got put on this fucking job for "community service" after being arrested for robbing a Lowes and eating 398 packs of stolen nails.

"sooo uhhhh whatcha gonna do with that" I say motioning to the hair sticking out of her pocket

this is my desperate attempt at small talk.

"oh! teehee I've been saving my hair to knit into a blanket for my future man >w<"

Im high asf and I still have never said anything as degenerate and deranged as that

"are you here for camp?" I ask, making no effort to sound happy

"yeesssssss 😍"

"mkay, cool uhh follow me"

Now I gotta walk all the way to the campground to take this little mf to the cabins.

we start the trudge. And I am legitimately terrified. something about the way this delusional teen's eyes are drilling through my skull makes me shiver. No amount of crack could ever make me cocky enough to try to interact with this girl.

We trudge over the bridge that weird severed hands keep appearing on, we walk down the hill with the tree that for some reason is always on fire, and finally we make it to the cabins by the lake.

my stalker- I mean camp guest lets out a little squeal that sounds so identical to a rat that I'm half convinced it was just an auditory hallucination from the crack.

"OH WOW! This is so fairycore! kinda cryptid-core too, this is fulfilling all my pixie dreams!!!"

We're staring at a house with rotten fish carcasses hanging from the roof. The little bitch almost runs into the "nuclear launch zone" sign while ogling the assortment of cabins like how she definitely ogles fictional men with wayyyy too many red flags and mental health issues.

oh shit since when was that nuclear launch zone sign here anyway? ehh idgaf really.

"uhh anyway you can stay in any cabin you want except for the one that's by the big oak tree, that's the counselor's cabin.

"Thank youuu~"

This bitch talks like one of those cringey Y/N characters in the Wattpad fanfics my ex used to read because I was that disappointing.

"Knock yourself out kid" I mean it, please, please knock yourself out.

With that, I turn and walk to the counselor cabin. The other counselors are still in the basement of the crack shack but they're probably fine.

"I collect asylum escapee campers like Pokemon cards..." I mutter before knocking out on the couch.

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A/N:

This chapter goes out to 2 bad bitch friends who told me to keep writing this, THANKS BAD BITCHES <3 

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