(written from Edwina's pov woooooah!)
I awake to the sound of airplanes and police sirens "COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP" bleh bleh bleeh ughhhh why can't they STFU. Typical.
I push open my floorboard with a yawn. I was up late last night working hard. Something is going on, I know it.
This mysterious new girl just proves my point. I spent almost the entire night on r/girlsarentreal trying to gather as much info as possible. I need to be ready to disable her when needed, otherwise she may grow to a serious threat.
I yawn and stretch myself out.
I fail to notice the new girl standing right behind me. menacingly.
"EAHH WHAT THE FUCK?" i screech when i see her face
Her hair is disheveled and mangled and WHY DOES SHE HAVE BLOOD AND A SPIDER LEG STUCK TO HER FACE???
I read about exactly what to do in this situation. I can escape before I become her next victim, im smarter, I won't be fooled.
I fake a gasp "oH MY GOODNESS, IS THAT A BIG MENTALLY DERANGED MAN WITH HUNDREDS OF OBVIOUS RED FLAGS?"
"WHERE?????!?!?!?!" Screams the girl. How the hell does she scream so fucking LOUD DAMN.
Either way, my tactics were succesful and she whirls around in a frenzy giving me enough time to jump out of the closest window.
It seems the other campers are already awake, so I run to the rest of them. It's safer to be in a group when dealing with a serious threat.
(BACK TO OUR CAMPER'S POV <333)
Edwina must be blind, because there is NOT. a big hot guy behind me. silly girl
I turn back around to correct her on her mistake, but she's already gone! She must have been embarassed to have fumbled like that in front of a hot girl like myself.
It seems that all the other campers are already outside, I can hear their screams, so I start getting ready for the day.
I throw on a cute outfit and head to the bathrooms. I don't actually know where the bathrooms are, so I wander for a little bit.
I walk through the forest, the sun framing my beautiful features nicely. As I'm walking, suddenly a buff man with weird blue tattoos and short pink hair runs by. I watch as suddenly a sword flies through the air and impales him in the chest. In the blink of an eye though, he dissapears!
I frown. "awwww DAMNIT. he was kinda cute i wanted to ask for his number...."
That little bastard also got blood in my hair though!! how dare he desecrate such beautiful locks.
I continue walking, I walk past the sobbing and screaming red-haired kid with the green and black checkered jacket thing, I walk past the dead dude with the firey hair, I walk past the overturned train, and finally I find the bathrooms!
What a relaxing walk, getting fresh air is VERY MUCH a hot girl activity.
The bathroom is a rickety old shack of sorts with an entire 3 stalls. One stall has a little girl with radish-shaped legs standing in front of it.
she knocks three times "Hanako-san Hanako-san, are you there?" she asks
I would chat with her, but I have more important things to do
I turn on the sink, but this one starts spewing blood! I know because i tasted it.
"wha-" I stutter in shock
I stare with wide eyes at the steady stream of thick red liquid.
"WHOA THIS PLACE REALLY IS AWESOME, SO LUXURY" i squeal. I've always wanted to try a blood facial!!!!! I dip my face right in it
My skin is going to be glowing after this!!!!!
I let the blood dry on my face before rinsing it off with water from another sink. I then moisturize and brush my hair. While I'm brushing, A shriveled hand starts reaching out of the sink
"EAOSDRHOIAWHETOWEHTROIAHSGFOXHWMFOHWEMOTHOWPHFGPI3HW GPMIHEWROIU GHWEIURHT WAC" i sqeak cutely.
"ew go away!! what do you think you're doing trying to touch me you pervert!" I grab the hand by the wrist and crush all its fingers before shoving it back down the drain. LIKE A GIRLBOSS BAD BITCH BABY.
eventually I'm finished with my morning routine. I snap a quick selfie with the dead rat in the corner of the bathroom and walk back to the camp. Hope I didnt miss breakfast!
I walk out and see the back of my cabin. I guess the bathrooms were right there the entire time!! TEEHEE silly me! X3333
It's now time for me to go make my presence known to the camp...
___________________________________________
A/N:
...what do you want me to say? aint nothin interesting goin down in my life rn. I ATE UP THIS PHYSICS PROJECT THO, IM LITERALLY ALBERY EINSTEIN.
anyways bye <333
YOU ARE READING
Camp Crack House
HumorA little bitch gets dropped off at a wack ass camp. that's it. that's the plot. Warnings: Cursing, drugs, satanic shit (I also don't know how to write so I'm sorry)
