DEATH JUNCTION

15

  My throat scratched. My lungs tight. My eyes ached, my world shifting in and out of view. The dearth of sound was deafening. My sides throbbed with pain. The smell of cleaning astringent swept into my nose, twisting my belly. The urge to retch gripped me once again.

I stood up from where I had sat down before, the small puddle of vomit tainting the smell of cleaning astringent with its pungent odour. The lights glared from above me, impaling my bleary eyes with sharp knife like rays. I blinked a couple of times and swallowed the remnant bile that caked my tongue. The blisters that had built up on my arms shuddered as the cool breeze that floated from the open window made contact with them.

Blood gurgled within my periphery, murky lines spreading out towards me in my mind's eye. I wiped the image clean but I already felt the nausea build in my chest. I stumbled back, my throat bobbing as if preparing for another round of vomit when I slipped. I landed on the floor, the acrid smell leaving a similar taste on my tongue.

The librarian.....

My mind fogged, the physical washing away as a memory  drew me in.

"Who's my daddy, mummy?" I managed as I climbed into her lap. The bags that weighed her eyes made her look lifeless, her dark skin pale and cold against my hand. Despite the fact that she leaned towards sleep, I brushed her and she jolted awake.

Instinctively, she held me immediately,  looking disoriented. "Huh?"

"Who's my daddy? Where is he?"

Her gaze left mine as she sighed, her shoulders slacking.

"Don't you want to play with your doll?"

I shook my head vehemently, gripping her shoulders.

"I want to have a daddy to play with."

My mom looked close to tears but she blinked them away. With a forced smile she said,

"You have a mummy at least."

I felt tears well up in my eyes and my mummy immediately pulled me in, whispering softly and rocking me until I finally fell asleep.

I blinked rapidly, my chest aching. I had gotten what I wanted. I felt a sad smile curl on my lips. But now she wasn't here anymore. I hugged my knees to my chest as I allowed my thoughts to go back to my mother. I really took her for granted at some point. My throat dried, I had been so obsessed with my problems that I had never seemed to notice her own struggles. The hollow look that had passed over her eyes immediately she saw me, hidden by the wall of a smile as she hugged me too many times to count.

You are the worst daughter ever.

That should no longer be news anyway.

I-

Suddenly, a chilling sensation sprung on me. My back tensed, my eyes stalked over my surroundings. The tears that had gathered in my eyes had dried up, the silence gained an eerie tone, one that caused my stomach to swamp with dread. The feeling of my frame being torn apart by a gaze, watching me, sent my heart into a flurry. My eyes skidded from left to right, barely holding onto the shadows that moved along edges of the furniture. I suddenly became hyperware of the sounds that hung below the thin veil of silence. The clinking of the blades of a fan, the rustle of leaves. My heart thudded faster as I stood on shaky legs.

With my shoulders already coiled and my breathing ragged, a scratch of the window sent me running off before toppling out the door and onto the steps. I gripped the railing, my nerves frayed and a headache pounding against my skull. The cold that breezed past me turned my legs to lead, unable to walk as a numbness pulsated down its length. Despite the initial numbness, I managed to trample down the steps, holding the railing like my life depended on it.  Finally, I reached the ground floor and my legs almost caved underneath me.