Two Annoying Actors

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It was another school day in Metropolis, and you were with Zee and Karen as Zee was hosting audition for a play she was doing.

Garth: "Um, avast scalawag. I'm, uh, Swash Buckler, scourge of the Seven Seas." 

Actor: "Avast scalawag I'm swashbuckler scourge of the sev-" 

Zee: Swash Buckler, not swashbuckler! 

Actor: Oh I don't get it.

Barry: So, yeah like, um go ahead and avast, Mr.

Scalawag, 'cause I'm, like, Swash Buckler, the scourge of the Seven Seas and stuff, and...

Hal was up next, but he was doing some poses. You facepalmed as Zee got annoyed.

Zee: Read the lines, Hal! 

Hal: Oh, right. Uh "Swash Buckler enters stage right. He stands upon the deck of the..." 

Zee: (frustrated) Next! Ugh. This is a disaster, Karen and (Y/N). Swash Buckler on the Seven Seas could be the best play I've ever done! 

(Y/N): I think it's great right now. Not the auditions, the script.

Zee pats your head.

Zee: Thank you, (Y/N). The costumes are hand-sewn, soaked in saltwater for authenticity The Impolite Minnow is the most ambitious set in Metropolis High history! And the finest most gifted actor ever to grace this stage will play Lady Catharine.

Karen: But I thought you were playing Lady Catharine? 

Zee: Look, the point is, none of this matters if I can't find the right actor to play Swash Buckler! (sighs in exasperation)

You rub Zee's shoulder.

(Y/N): Don't worry, Zee. You'll find someone soon.

Just then, Oliver goes on stage.

Oliver: Greetings, company! (in accent) Stage role. Your leading man has arrived.

Zee: (softly) Oh, no.

(Y/N): (softly) Of course it had to be him.

Oliver: The name is Oliver Queen. I've portrayed everyone from the Phantom to the Streetcar.

He pulls out a long sheet of paper.

Oliver: Lois Lane of the Daily Planetoid has called my performances "bold," "brash," and "bang on the beam," which I assume means good.

(Y/N): (thinking) Why do I get the feeling he made that up?

Oliver: So do you want to go through with this charade of me auditioning or shall we proceed to dress rehearsal? 

Karen: (whispers) I dunno Zee, Oliver seems pretty perfect.

Zee: (whispers) Uh, I hate to admit it I mean, really hate to admit it, but-

???: (in the distance) "Avast, ye scalawags!"

Just then, everyone turns to see another actor.

Just then, everyone turns to see another actor

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