Chapter 1: Never Say What You Won't Do

Chapter 2: Never Say What You Won't Do

All rights reserved @2011  Author D.A. Jackson

Please be advised that within this chapter the "N" word is introduced, it is not in anyway meant to be offensive, I am just speaking from my main character's point of view due to her distaste in men. If this word bothers you, you make not want to read this chapter.

Chapter Two

My name is Johanna Holland, but I prefer Jo. Upon realizing why that name was chosen, immediate antipathy kicked in. The only reason why my mom chose it was to reverence my father. She was weak and in love with Johannes. He got my mother pregnant and from what I’ve amassed over the years, he did it purposely because she was about to leave him. That’s what you call an inconsequential nigga.

How weak is that, for a woman to allow a man to tell her what to name her child. Women walk around for 9 months looking like a stuffed hen, do all of the laboring, go through all the pain, morning sickness, and they simply put alphabets together to form a name.

“The hard part is over, actually why are you still even here, especially if you know that in the back of your mind you are not ready to be a father. Save everyone the heartache and bullshit and leave before the first push.” That’s what I would probably be thinking in the delivery room.

I’m not that benign. This is my womb, my baby, and his/her name will be whatever my heart desires.  If there is ever motherhood in my forecast this means there will be no juniors and no ghetto names for my daughter.

I hate when women name boys after their father that’s just being gullible, they need names that show vigor and caliber. Men should stand tall and be proud; being a junior means you walk around in your father’s shadow sharing his name.

Girls need names that will help them bring all of their dreams into fruition. Realize who and what they are. Give birth to their true personality which should be enduring, dignified and self-reliant.

More than likely, the man isn’t even going to be around long enough to learn how to even spell the baby’s name. I have seen it all too often, and being married can not guarantee that you will live happily ever after either. When did a marriage certificate turn into crazy glue? That doesn’t make a man stick around. If anything it onsets panic. 

When a man makes up his mind to leave, he is gonna do just that. No matter how big your house is, how fancy the cars are, how  fine you might be, how naturally long your hair is or how many babies you have popped out on his behalf.  A man is always thinking the “next one is the best one”. That thought will be in the forefront of my mind until my casket drops. 

Men can be so wanton; my so-called father showed me first hand. You have to sleep with one eye opened, and one eye closed. Always remain a step ahead of the game. “Get them before they get you”.

Speaking of Johannes, he destroyed my mother; and broke her heart into a thousand pieces one summer. The only thing he was good for was supplying money.  I will give him a little credit for that because he never missed a holiday and during Christmas, I felt like a rich kid.

My mom said he used material things to make up for his absences. After all, there wasn’t too much time he could spend with us considering he had a “real” wife and six kids on the north side.