Shadows

13) Queen

One night Alicia stood in front of the full length mirror in their shared room at the sanctuary. Daryl was asleep in the bed behind her, his light snores reaching her ears.

Her hair was still wet from her shower, and it clung loosely to her bare back. She was completely undressed in front of the mirror as she looked over the scars her father had left years before.

The ones that littered her legs and the backs of her arms. The ones that brought her so much pain, suffering, and tears. But... a few years ago they were what brought her and Daryl together.

Back at the CDC they stayed up all night, talking about their childhoods and their shared scars. Nothing made Alicia happier than when she thought about how she had made a life with Daryl.

And then she thought about the other people she had learned to love. Rick, Michonne, Carl, Rosita... Abraham... Glenn...

She shook her head, rubbing her hands over her eyes to clear the thoughts. Like Daryl said, they didn't have time to cry. 

All that could be done was convince Negan they belonged.

And that's what they had been doing. Day after day. Hour after hour. Alicia felt sick as she carried out her father's orders. Even though she climbed into Daryl's arms every night, she still felt empty.

Her fingers played with the shark tooth necklaces that still hung around her neck. How she had managed to keep it this long was beyond her. She looked at it, her brows furrowed.

She would give it to Jordan. After all, the woman she was named after was the one who gifted it to Alicia. A present when she graduated high school.

Alicia thought about her daughter. She was with Gabriel and she was safe, Alicia knew that. But she still couldn't help the guilty feeling that rose in her chest.

She should have stayed behind. Jordan was alone, both of her parents running around the sanctuary with her crazy ass grandfather.

"What's wrong?"

Daryl's voice and the feeling of his rough hands on her waist startled her.

"Couldn't sleep." She mumbled.

Daryl nodded, his chin resting against her shoulder. "Thinking about her again?"

She sighed. "We just left her."

He grunted. "She's with Gabriel. We didn't have a choice Darlin', we had to leave."

Alicia turned to face him, her hands placed firmly against his chest. "I could have stayed."

"You know that's not true. You'd be going crazy if you had stayed in Alexandria." He kissed her forehead. "Jordan's ok."

"I know that. I just wish I could talk to her." She twisted the wedding ring on her finger. "Are you not worried about her?"

Daryl looked at her, his eyes filled with a thousand emotions. More than he normally allowed himself to show.

"I'm worried sick." He admitted. "My daughter's in the hands of a priest."

Alicia let out a small laugh. "I used to be a Christian you know."

Daryl raised an eyebrow. "And you had sex with me before we got married?" He tutted, shaking his head. "How scandalous of you."

She grinned, pulling away from him to put on a shirt. It was one of his flannels, and it fell right above her knees.

"I said used to be, Dixon."

Daryl sat on the bed, watching as she pulled her hair up. "My mistake... Dixon." He shot back at her.

She rolled her eyes. "Carl only calls me Dixon now to." She chuckled. "He won't let me forget who I'm married to."

Daryl scoffed. "What's wrong with who you're married to?"

Alicia smirked. "I'm married to a redneck who wields a crossbow and eats grilled snake off a stick."

"You're married to a very handsome and intelligent man." He countered.

"Intelligent? Didn't you tell me you dropped out of high school?"

"Street smarts." He waved a hand. "I have street smarts."

Alicia just smiled, sitting down beside him. "Whatever you say"

The next few days went by in a foggy haze. Alicia never really thought about what she was doing, her mind numb. She moved like the walkers outside the walls, slow and without purpose.

She was leaning against the railing of the second floor, looking out over the workers. She felt sad for them, watching as they carried out their tasks by the order of her father. They respected him, that was obvious.

"Ali, honey, what're you doing?" Negan's voice pulled her from her thoughts. He leaned against the railing beside her.

"Watching." She answered quietly.

He hummed in response, looking at her from the side. "Daryl seems to be good at his new job."

Alicia looked up at him. "Oh yeah... he loves it." She lied.

Negan had put Daryl in charge of the prisoners. The ones that Negan threw into the little rooms Daryl had spent his first night in.

He in fact did not love it. He would tell Alicia multiple times a day how much he hated treating them like that. Of course he was nice to them when no one was around, but he had to keep up the act when there were others near him.

Negan smiled, his hand resting on her shoulder. "I'm going to Alexandria tomorrow. You and Daryl are welcome to come." He smirked. "Like a little fun at Rick and his friends."

Alicia forced a devious look onto her face. "Sure. We'll be more than happy to."

Alicia wanted to go to see that they were ok. She needed to make sure they were at least safe.

She found it was easy to trick her father into believing she enjoyed hurting them. She was able to say things and smile as she said them, her heart clenching as she did it.

She hated the things she was doing but her father was oblivious to that fact. As far as he knew she was enjoying being "queen" of the sanctuary.

That's what Negan and his goons called her. Everyone who lived there was painfully aware that she was Negan's daughter. Everywhere she went she was equally respected and feared.

One time she had been walking with Simon through the courtyard and someone had bumped into her. Her initial instinct was to apologize but the look Simon gave her told her that he expected otherwise.

She lashed out on the man, spouting false accusations and insults. He tried to talk back to her and Simon had grabbed him by the collar, getting in his face.

"Talk to her like that again and I'll have you killed." He told the man. "Now... for that little episode you'll have to pay."

"Let him go with a warning, Simon." Alicia had tried to persuade him.

"A warning? A warning for talking back to Negan's daughter? The heir to our lovely home here? Absolutely not." Simon smirked between Alicia and the man. "Bruise him up a little bit Doll."

"You want me to punch him?" She scoffed.

"Aw just a little one across the jaw. That should put him in his place." Simon patted his jaw as he said it, a smile plastered on his face. "You're not too soft for that are you?" He asked her.

She internally winced but kept her composure. "No." She spat.

Her face hardened as Simon let the man go and she flexed her fingers. The man closed his eyes, waiting for her fist to come intact with his face.

Simone nudged her forward, urging her closer to him. "Tell him how it is."

She leaned close to his face. "Fuck with me again and I'll have you killed."

She punched him, her knuckles stinging from his jaw bone.