On the way back to Charlie's house I'm deep in my thoughts, does Millie actually want to be there or is she just being there because she kind of has to, I know that she with Levi because she's my favourite footballer so I already know a lot about her for she want me, am I gonna cause problems in the relationship, am I gonna fit into their family, whilst I'm deep in though mrs Leigh look over at me concerned.
Charlie's mum : you ok Maisie Maisie : * no response * Charlie's mum : hey Maisie * lightly puts her arm on you and you flinch back * Maisie : I-I'm sorry I didn't mean to flinch Charlie's mum : it's ok I was just asking you a question I should have touched you it was my fault Maisie : I'm still sorry what was you question Charlie's mum : I was asking if you were ok you were zoned out for a while Maisie : yeah I'm ok just thinking about things Charlie's mum : ok you know you can talk to me about anything that on your mind don't you Maisie : yeah I do thank you Charlie's mum : no problem
Charlie's just then continues to drive back to her house and you go back into your thoughts going deeper and deeper you don't realise that your breathing has gone ragid and you can bearly by breath Charlie's mum pulls up onto the drive way when she notices that you are going into a panic attack.
Charlie's mum : Maisie look at me and follow my breathing big deep breaths for me darling * demonstrates deep breathing * Maisie : * trying to breathe but can't do it * Charlie's mum : come on Maisie follow me please darling everything is going to be ok Maisie : I-i cc-a-n't
Mrs Leigh gets out the car and comes to the passenger side, opens the door and hold your hands in hers.
Charlie's mum : you don't have to talk just keep taking deep breaths please come on your gonna end up making yourself pass out Maisie : * still can't breath * Charlie's mum : do you want me to ring Charlie Maisie : * try's her best to shake her head no * Charlie's mum : Maisie please come on I need you to work on your breathing I don't know how else I can help you Maisie : mm-il-lie Charlie's mum : you want me to ring Millie Maisie : * try's her best to nod her head *
By this point I have started to turn purple and my vision is going blurry and I can bearly hear mrs Leigh, But I can hear mrs Leigh talking.
( on the phone to Millie)
Charlie's mum : hey Millie i need you help Maisie has gone into a panic attack and she can't calm down but she tried her best to tell me that she wants you, could you talk to her over the phone and try to calm her down please Millie : yeah of course I will and I'll start heading over to your house I'm only a couple minutes away. Charlie's mum : thank you I'll put you on loud speaker now Millie : hey princess I need you to take some deep breaths for me please can you try that for me in through your nose and out of your mouth Maisie : * trying to follow Millie *
But now you have a redish-purpleish face with tears continuing to flow down your cheeks Millie continues to demonstrate slow breathing up until she pulls up behind mrs Leigh's car then get out and rushes to you.
Millie : hey princess I'm here now it's ok everything will be ok
Millie undoes you seatbelt and pulls you out the car and into her arms holding you up, you have your head resting on her chest/shoulder.
Millie : you ok i promise carry on doing some deep breaths for me princess Maisie : * calmed down a lot now * Charlie's mum : why don't we go inside and sit down and ill get you a drink Maisie
You,Millie and mrs Leigh all go into the house with Millie still holding you she sits down on the sofa with you like this.
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( Millie is the boy and you are the girl )
Millie : you ok now Maisie : * nods her head * Millie : has those ever happened before Maisie : yeah but I would just leave myself to pass out most of the time Millie : would you like to tell me what caused this one it's ok if your not ready to Maisie : it's just everything really Millie : I know that it's more than that has it got anything to do with me Maisie : yeah kind of Millie : tell me Maisie : I don't want to say I in case it's true Millie : in case what's true Maisie : that you don't actually want me and you only want me now is because you feel bad * it slips out before you can hold yourself back * And you eyes go wide you get ready to apologise But Millie speaks first Millie : of course I want you and I do feel bad because I put you through all of that has Happened in your childhood but that dosent mean I don't want you there's been lots of time where I didn't even get out of bed for weeks on end because I gave you up I was you age when I had you and it scared me and I was a coward so I chose the easy way out but also thought it would be the best option for you Maisie : I'm sorry Millie : you have nothing to be sorry for your going to have trust issues but I'm more than willing to work on them with you like I have just now if you talk to me I can always help with your problems I know I've made a lot of mistakes when it come to you but i want to put them right and give you the best life that i can for real this time Maisie : thank you Millie : is there anything else on that mind of yours Maisie : * hesitates at first * what about Levi Millie : what about him, he wants you just as much as I do he was the one that got me out of bed on the hardest days he's never met you and already talks about you like your his he loves you to bits he wants you to come home to Maisie : home ? Millie : I wasn't going to say anything to you yet I wanted you to be able to trust us more but I really want you to come and live with me I know that's not gonna happen for a while but a girl can dream right, he actually wants to come to your game on the weekend with me Maisie : does he actually Millie : yeah we was on the phone just before mrs Leigh rang me I was telling how well today went Maisie : I'm happy to have you in my life Millie : same I'm over the moon princess I love you * you get tears in your eyes because it's the first * Time Millie has ever told you she loves you Millie : hey why are you crying what's up Maisie : I love you too
Millie kisses the top of your head and you both laugh. Mrs Leigh stayed into the kitchen to give you and Millie some space. Your eyes start to close because you're exhausted from all the crying and you have a headache.
Millie : it's ok princess go to sleep I'll still be here when you wake up it's ok I love you to the moon and the stars and back again Maisie : I love you to Millie * it hurts Millie's heart a bit but knows that it * Will Take time for you to call her mum
