saudade | newtmas

⁀➷ six, please tommy

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

The next morning was awkward in the house. Newt was taking sonya to school since she still wasn't ready to talk to either of her parents despite their attempts.

Newt told them he would talk after school, despite knowing he was going to Minho's and then one of Teresa's parties after school. Sonya knew this, she planned on staying at her friends house.

Newt thought that right now the distance was the best option for them all, he tried to convince himself that was what was best became it was easiest.

He had always found it easier and safer, to avoid things, distance himself, until he physically couldn't anymore.

He pretended like he didn't know this was an issue.

most of the day went by quick enough, he got through all his classes, instead of hanging out with his friends at lunch he decided to sit in the library.

which was a good idea, for a minute until the fact that he didn't tell anyone where he was going came up.

Unfortunately that ended in Thomas being the one to see him in the library, he was doing research.

"Newt" Thomas said, softly as he approached the blonde boy. Newt looked up for a moment it was like he forgot everything that had happened over the past month.

Thomas almost looked relieved when Newt looked up at him. "Yeah?" Newt asked. He didn't have the energy to pretend to hate Thomas today.

"Um." Thomas chewed at his lip softly, looking around the Library then back at Newt, before sitting down on the chair opposite him.

Newt raised his eyebrow, as he was confused on what Thomas was doing. "Minho didn't know where you were." Thomas said.

Newt nodded, "Right. Well, im here." He said, holding up his hand before dropping it, looking back at his computer.

"Can we please talk?" Thomas asked.

Newt was getting sick of the question. He wondered how many times he would have to say no, or some other snarky response before thomas got the hint, that he did not want to talk.

"Can we not?" Newt sighed, looking up from his computer. Thomas's eyes were tired, so tired it made Newt's heart hurt in a way he couldn't describe.

Newt had to look away from Thomas, eyes dropping back to his computer but he was struggling to focus now.

"Newt" Thomas said, his tone almost begging. It was so desperate, it was so desperate that it made Newt's stomach twist in guilt.

He didn't want to feel guilty about this, he shouldn't be the one feeling guilty. It wasn't fair.

Newt closed his eyes, shaking his head. When he opened his eyes he closed his laptop, standing up.

He put his stuff in his bag, before walking out of the library, Thomas followed.

Because no matter what, Thomas always fucking followed.

"Please Newt." Thomas said, walking to catch up to the blonde.

"I miss you, okay? I miss you so much, i just want to explain." Thomas said, grabbing Newt's arm. Newt stopped in place, turning to face the brunette.

"Please?" Thomas asked.

"I cant do it, not today, tommy." Newt said, closing his eyes as he shook his head, letting the nickname fall from his lips without a second thought, not even realising it.

Newt had no idea how much that one word meant to the brunette standing in front of him.

Thomas looked down at Newt. "What- what happened?" Thomas asked.

This is what Newt hated, this is the one thing he truly hated in this moment. Thomas read the blonde like a book, Newt hadn't even given any details to the fact that maybe something had happened, he didn't look upset, not obviously, and Thomas knew.

Thomas knew him, and Newt hated it.

"Thomas please" Newt sighed, running a hand through his hair, before pulling up the sleeves to his hoodie, looking at the brunette, who frowned slightly as his eyes held Newt's.

Newt rolled his eyes, the feeling in his body was nothing less then tense, he was tired, so tired and drained of everything.

"Cmon, Newt, please just talk to me" Thomas said, voice desperate, he ran a hand through his hair through in distress.

Nothing was clear anymore, everything felt messier in Newt's head then necessary. He was hurt, and tired, and angry. His head was so messy he forgot that he was standing in the middle of his school hallway.

"You broke up with me, remember? You can't just, do this, care, and ask to talk all the time, ask to be friends, and be there for me, leave me alone, just — for fuck sakes tommy. Please just leave me alone, you had no problem doing it before."

Newt shook his head as he looked away, Before looking back at Thomas who had his lips parted slightly. "Can you do that? Please?" Newt said, he was begging.

Begging to be left alone by the one person he wanted to be around more then anything.

Thomas looked at him, holding eye contact that felt suffocating, overwhelming, too much. There was a moment of silence, an all well known moment of silence.

"You got it."

Newt nodded his head, turning around to walk away. He couldn't think about it too much. He didn't have the energy or the time.

Things were suppose to be different, yet everything was falling apart way too soon.

At least it could only get better from here.