Long Distance

'Forgive Me'

I was called from the back, to help a customer.

When I walked over, they were looking at one of the Mac Pros in the display case with their back turned to me.

God did I want that computer, even with an employee discount I couldn't afford it.

"How may I help you sir" I asked.

"Well my friend...she really likes the things this machine can do, and I wanna get her one." He spoke turning on his heel.

The voice was so recognizable, I didn't even need to see his face.

Jackson, why is he even here?

I was on the job, and I refuse to act a fool in public.

"Well sir, we have a really nice payment program set..." I began but was cut off.

"No need, I want to pay for it up front" he said nonchalantly reaching into his pocket removing a black card.

As I rung up the computer I couldn't help but be jealous.

He was probably buying this for that she devil.

And he was all in my face, while she is his girlfriend.

Ooh I can't stand him, he doesn't see that these stupid games only push me away.

And the fact that I actually loved him with my all, it hurts deep.

It hurts deeper knowing the girl that ended our relationship is the one he is smelling behind now.

I rung up everything an the payment was complete so I slid the neatly packaged item across the counter to him.

He reached in his pocket pulling out a small red bow.

He stuck the bow carelessly on the package and slid it back to me.

"A 'forgive me' present" he said, before turning and walking out the store.

"Wait, what?" I called behind him. "Come back here" but he didn't so much as flinch as he left the store and out of my site.

I knew Jackson wasn't poor, but how could he spend such a large amount of money on someone else.

I wanted nothing but to run after him and make him explain, but again I was on the job.

No matter how he paid for it, I wasn't gonna turn it down.

That day before going how with the computer system of my dreams, I called Jackson and told him to meet me at his house.

Just as I was pulling up, he was making his way out his house.

The walk over I couldn't help but check him out.

He wore a pair of pajama pants hung low on his hips with a pair of blue plaid slippers, leaving his upper body completely in the nude. Except for the few water droplets.

He probably just got out the shower.

I stepped out my car, and without hesitation I began throwing questions.

"I appreciate the gift but how did you pay for that, I don't recall you having a job, I know you have money but do you really have enough to just spend on anybody? I hope you don't expect anything from me because you won't be getting it bub, you could have it back if it's like that." I rambled out.

He smirked before saying, "Don't worry, it's a gift from a friend to another friend" he took a step closer almost pinning me to my car. "But if you want to make things into more I wouldn't mind."

I pushed him slightly, getting no reaction. He only laughed then took a step back.

"I don't expect anything from you, but about us. I'm gonna be here." He spoke calmly.

"I'm sorry but unfortunately it is too late."

"It's never to late..." He began until I cut him off.

"There is someone else." I blurted.

His facial expressions fell, he looked as if he was hurt but soon it turned more to anger as his Jaw tightened. You could see his temple flex as if he was chewing gum.

He shifted his weight from one leg to another before saying through gritted teeth "And who might that be"

"His name is Tyson."

He looked as if he was thinking. "I guess me and Tyson will be having a talk tomorrow, everyone knows...you are taken" he said clearing his throat:

"What? He doesn't even go to our school."

His facial expression grew angry again and he just turned and walked away.

I didn't know what else to do so I got in my car. I still appreciate my gift though.

When I got home I took no hesitation to set everything up.

I can't wait to get working on this thing.

About two months and a half has passed and Jackson and I are on good terms.

We developed a great friendship, almost like that one as kids. He understands that we aren't getting together so everything is good with us.

He is even going on vacation with the group.

Hopefully Lilly doesn't kill him.

As for Tyson and I, he hasn't even spoke to me. We fell out over the fact that I'm not ready for a relationship.

I'm sorry I'm just not ready for the relationship.

I haven't spoken to him in about 3 weeks now, but he sure has talked a lot in the group.

The only reason I haven't said anything is because my pride is standing in the way.

I guess I'm gonna have to speak once we are face to face.

...on second thought, no I don't.

I can ignore his existence the way he ignores mine.

I'm sure it'll be tuff, but he pushed me to this point.

Now he will know how I feel.

Even though it was I who left, I left kicking and screaming, I didn't just prance out with a hop on my step. I left feeling helpless and hollow.

Ending our chapter wasn't my choice here, it was yours. Your own actions left you alone.

The months will go by and I will recover, eventually I'll be better than ever. But you my friend, will remain ignorant forever.

But I don't want him to feel how I feel, no one should ever go through that.

It's crazy your heart can be so stubborn and stuck on one person that it allows it self to go through the pain.

My hearts stupid decisions are eating at me.

If it was possible i'd remove it right now.

But sadly it doesn't work this way.