Lost Pages

𝓣𝓱𝓲𝓻𝓭 𝓟𝓪𝓰𝓮

"BEVERLY!" Jy shouted my name, getting me back. I was able to calm down a bit. 

"Are you alright? you're turning a bit pale." She patted me behind my back, "Sit down for now." 

I looked back at my desk to see him no longer there, and so I sat down. "How are you feeling? do you want me to bring you to the clinic?" She asked as the teacher entered our classroom.

"I'm alright, the teacher's here you should go back to your desk,"

"Alright everyone, meet your new classmate." The teacher announced with the same guy from before. "Hi everyone, I'm King Cameron" Even his voice is familiar. 

"Who is that?" He whispered right beside my ears which scared me a bit, "Why did you react like that a while ago?"

"I don't know, don't talk to me in public..." 

Surprisingly, he followed my orders.

The class was the same as usual except, He was staring intensely at King the whole time for some reason. On the other hand, Jy is taking glances at me, most likely because of how I acted earlier; I need to clear things up with her later.

Jy is one of my current close friends, the other one is Yuni, she's from a different class and also the one with an on-and-off relationship with her boyfriend. They have been beside me for 3 years as I remember, but they told me we've been together for more than that. 

Because of what he told me yesterday, I couldn't help but overthink everything. I despise him, more than anything. I want to get rid of him as soon as possible. 

But how? How can I do that without messing with my lost memories?

Without meddling with the past, and focusing on the present...

I thought I was living my life just like everyone else and that everything would be alright, as long as they were beside me. 

I guess it's not that easy...

I should've seen this coming, these few years have been a breeze compared to what's going on right now; I'm scared.

I'm scared of what's going to happen next...

"Beverly!" Jy said pinching both of my cheeks, "Class is over, are you sure you're alright?" She asked. I scanned the room, and only both of us were left; I've been absent-minded for longer than I thought. 'He' is nowhere to be found as well, he might've followed that person. 

"You're right, I probably should rest in the clinic..." I replied, not sick or anything, I just need a bit more time to process everything. "Sure, let me-"

"It's alright Jy, I can go there by myself," I said, standing up and leaving the room. I spotted Yuni walking towards me "Hey-" but I acted like I didn't see her. 

I opened the door to the clinic, but as soon as I did, I was welcomed by King. There it is again, that same headache I felt a while ago. I avoided eye contact and just went straight for the nurse. But he didn't let me, he grabbed my hand and forced me to face him. 

"Aren't you gonna apologize to me?" He asked. 

Now that I remember, I looked around the room but he was nowhere to be found. I thought he was with this guy, I guess not. "Hey, I'm talking to you." 

I sighed, "Sorry, you looked like someone I know..." I said, trying to end the conversation, "Fine, you are probably hungry for attention so I'll let it pass," 

I felt pissed, is that what he thinks of me? "Why would I want YOUR attention?"

"How would I know?" He drops my hand in aggression, "You probably crave everyone's attention," The way he emphasizes the word 'Everyone' boils my blood. 

Who does he think he is? acting like he knows me

"The hell are you talking about?"

"You even pretended to hyperventilate to avoid being embarrassed for your mistake," 

"You-" The bell interrupted me, thus he left without saying anything else. 

I closed the curtains, lay on the bed, buried my head under the pillows, and shouted my lungs out. I'm already having trouble dealing with my 'Suicidal Thoughts' and he just decided to make everything much worse. 

"At this point, I should probably just die huh?" 

It took a while for me to realize what I've just said. I slapped both sides of my cheeks to wake myself up, this mess is slowly making me lose myself.

"Hey, are you alright?"

That voice, I don't need to turn around to figure out who it is. Just hearing that voice pisses me off.

"Go away," I demanded, refusing to face him, "Listen about what I said yesterday-"

"Just go away please, I'm not in the mood for talks,"

"Alright, I'll be right outside if you need me..."

His voice was soft, so much different from that Mr. Know-it-all. Is he trying to apologize for what he said yesterday? It bothered me, but he wasn't wrong; It was a huge possibility. I was being immature for trying to blame it on him. 

I felt bad for blaming him, and for acting cold towards Jy and Yuni; I've been acting awful lately... 

"I should apologize soon..." I muttered, before falling asleep. 

***

"Beverly!" I heard Yuni call out my name; as soon as I woke up, I sat up trying to catch my breath. "Are you alright? you were panting while you were asleep." 

I couldn't remember anything, but the feeling was still here.  

"Beverly... you're crying..." 

I placed my hand under my eyes to feel my overflowing tears that I wasn't even aware of. I immediately wiped it off, but it won't stop. I felt tremendously sad, but I can't explain or remember why; it's just there, right in my chest, heavy and pricked by a thousand needles. 

Jy and Yuni gently hugged me, it felt nostalgic. This is how they used to comfort me back then when I was lost; they accompanied me. Even know they didn't know what to say or do, they made me feel like I wasn't alone. Whenever I struggle, they struggle with me, and whenever I cry, they cry with me. It doesn't matter if they don't know the reason.

This moment made me remember, how much they mean to me. I felt disgusted for doubting them, even for a second. I trust them, even if they choose to hide something from me, I'm sure they have a reason. 

And just like how I predicted, they were both crying as well. 

"Why are you two crying?" I said while bawling, but they didn't reply; instead, they cried harder. It's as if they feel what I feel, their silence felt like they were whispering in my ears, 

It's alright, we're right here.