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𝓕𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓽𝓱 𝓟𝓪𝓰𝓮

This day was such a mess, Jy and Yuni went to their classes, and I was left alone in the clinic. They offered to stay, but I refused, I'm not sick; there is just something wrong with me that I can't figure out. Especially with King, whoever he is, I'd get an answer from him. At least that's what I feel like. He knows me, I felt a familiar bond with him; perhaps, from my past.

I decided to leave school early, I talked to the school nurse, and although I couldn't inform her why I was sleeping there, fortunately, she gave consideration and let it pass. I turned the knob clockwise and pushed the door open. To my surprise, he was waiting right outside. 

"Hey, do you feel okay now?" 

He looked at me with genuine concern, however, it felt like a misunderstanding. There is no reason for him to feel that way. Beside him is my bag sitting on the floor, which I assume he was sitting there while I was asleep. 

"Why do you have my bag?" 

"Oh, I sneaked it out while everyone was out, I just figured you'd be needing it." 

I picked my bag up without saying anything, "Let's go, I want to go home..." I whispered.

"Alright," He replied.

He walked right behind me, he was quiet unlike before, is it guilt? or pity? I can't determine which one.

On our way home, in the middle of the streets, I sensed him hesitating to tell me something the whole time; a few minutes in he finally decided to speak up. 

 "Can you listen to what I have to say?"

I stayed quiet, "You don't even have to reply, just hear me out, okay?" 

I spotted a bench nearby and decided to stop by to rest and hear him out. He sat beside him and took a deep breath. 

"About what I said yesterday... I'm so sorry for being so insensitive."  

"They stayed with you the whole time you were asleep, they were worried and truly cared about you."

"I overheard how you acted 'different' towards them, and it was obviously because of what I said, but I was so wrong," He gently placed his hand on top of mine, "From what I saw, they genuinely care,"

I felt my tears forming under my eyes again, I already figured out what he'd say, but hearing him say it made my chest feel a lot lighter. I cried for a few more minutes while he was panicking to figure out how to calm me down. As soon as I was done with my drama session, I stood up and started walking back home without saying anything. 

I was too ashamed to talk to him, getting mad because of what he said was so immature of me. 

I closed the door right behind me because I knew he'd just teleport right inside.

Right... teleport... 

"Hey, if you could teleport why didn't you just teleport this morning?" I asked, "Right... I guess I forgot..." 

"You forgot?"

"Well, I saw you running, of course, my first instinct would be to run as well," 

This still feels surreal to me, talking to my supposedly 'suicidal thoughts?' who could've thought? 

Should I get consulted?

But he feels real, and acts real; like he's human like me. Except no one else could see him, and he could appear out of nowhere. 

"So you have instincts as well?" I blurted out, "Sorry I just-"

"It's alright, ask everything you want to ask; I'll try to answer." He sat down on the couch in a criss-cross applesauce position. He patted the space beside him, offering me to sit.

I sat down and decided to ask the most obvious questions, "What are you?"

He sighed, "I already-"

"No, like are you human? are you a fragment of my past?" More questions kept appearing in my head, "Do you have feelings?"

"Are you alive?" 

He stared at me like he expected all those questions, "I was once human like you, I don't remember what happened during my human days, because I chose not to remember." He looked away

"All I remember is following you around, stuck in your shadows, and that I'll disappear the moment you either... die or regain your will to live." 

"But we'll do the latter, right?" He smiled at me, "I still don't understand... why you?" I asked

"Maybe some sort of punishment, though I literally have no idea what I did to deserve this," He responded touching the back of his neck. "Living is such a pain in the ass..."

"Could the reason be that you killed yourself?" 

There was a moment of silence, I glanced at him to see him looking back at me...

with such a sad stare...

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to meddle-"

"It's alright," he said, "But do you think so?"

"It's just a possibility," I stated

"Well, whatever it is, I just wanna end things as soon as possible,"

"So, you better find your will fast," He said as he placed his hand on my head and ruffled my hair. I chuckled, "I'll try my best," 

"You better rest now, you still have to talk to your friends tomorrow," 

"Alright," I replied, "By the way, thank you for today" 

He responded with a small smile.

***

Suddenly, I remembered the dream I had back at the clinic. It was vague, but I could hear myself calling for someone. 

"Hannah!" 

I kept calling...

"Hannah! Where are you?"

and calling...

"Hannah! Please don't leave..."

and calling...

but she never appeared...

Perhaps, it is because I have never seen her?

But why am I craving her presence? 

her soft voice...

her warmth...

that I never once saw,

heard,

or felt.

I woke up with the same familiar feeling: dried tears, a heavy chest, and a mild headache. I stayed in bed for a while. I didn't have the strength to stand; I was too tired, yet I didn't have the courage to fall asleep. Scared, to fall back into that dream, or nightmare?... but it felt wrong to call it a nightmare, I felt guilty. 

Suddenly, the face of King appeared in my head. My headache worsened, and my chest tightened, is he someone I knew back then? 

It felt like any moment my memories would come back, but I refused to remember; it was too much to take... 

I emptied my mind, waiting for the day to end, while I was slowly rotting in bed. But he didn't let me have my peace, he busted the door open and called out my name, 

"Beverly!"