Ishan Centric oneshots (previously: ICT/BL oneshots)

FRIENDS

A/n: this whole thing is going to be in third persons point of view so yeah, I hope you enjoy the story, if it gets too real too soon do get out of the story and maybe watch a tom and jerry episode, 

Warning: this story has strong language and touches on the topics of self harm, non consentual touching and bullying so Readers discretion is adviced. 

Also last main thoda gyan jhata hain, agar story ke baad you don't wanna read you can always skip on it lolll😝

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As ishan charges his phone he sees a missed call from an unknown number and decides to call them back, 

Ishan: Hello? Who is this? I got a call from this number few minutes back. 

XXX: How could you already forget your friend ishan? Come on man did your fame and success change you that much already? School ke dostho ko hi bhul gaya? 

Ishan knew he recognised that voice somewhere after all it did haunt his nights for far too long, but still he wanted his conscience to be wrong. 

Ishan: I'm sorry, but could you please introduce yourself I don't think I recognise you. 

XXX: Acha baba, theek hai, Ab hi yaad ayega, Main Ash bol raha hoon yaad hai tere se 2 bench chod ke baet tha tha class main, kya yaade thi woh, I wish we were back in school yaar. 

Ishan could feel the walls coming down on him, why now of all days, he was finally doing good, being clean for a year from self harm was something he always wanted and was finally able to do, but why now? why now when things were finally going good that his past had to get in again when he had finally gotten over it. 

Ishan took a deep breath before he spoke, 

Ishan: Aree, Ash kaisa hai? Sorry I didn't have your number so I couldn't recognise your voice. 

He could feel the bile rise upto his stomach, the hair behind his neck stand and his lungs reaching out for air as he went on with the conversation as if his life and past hadn't meant anything. 

Ash: Bro mereko tere se baat karna tha, thodi dair keliye free hoja please. 

Ishan: Hmm, okay bol kya bolna tha? 

Ash: Ishan, why did we stop talking after school? Why? Did our memories and time together not mean anything to you? We were something Ishan? Why did you leave me alone? 

The panic and anxiety which were there in Ishan were slowly desipating and he could feel the anger take him over as he heard Ash continue. 

Ishan: Hold on a fucking minute Ash, the fuck do you mean leave you alone and memories we spent do I have to remind you that BRO! despite us going to the same school and hanging out in the same group we had vastly different experiences?  . That you were accepted with open fucking arms into our group because you were straight and that I was constantly psuhed to the corner, made fun of and even sexually harrased for being bisexual, cause your "Best friend" Nash couldn't handle girls talking to me and had to go and tell the whole fucking school about my business which led to me having my first boyfriend who was your other bestest friend Yug, but all he ever wanted was sex and when I refused had physically forced himself on me. Now tell me why did I have to maintain any friendship with you and your asshole of a group when you arent that differet from either of them, even you for crying out loud had jumped on the opportunity. 

Ash: Ishan! listen, its your fault honey, you were so easily available I mean why lie and say that you weren't interested in Yug? You were and so what if he forced himself he even told me that you  were moaning like a fucking bitch in heat, so don't lie saying you didn't like it. 

If Ishans heart wasnt broken before it definitely broken now. He felt his anger turn into tears and his panic set back in again. 

Ishan: then you could have stayed with that assumption why call me now? 

Ash: Listen Ishan, I wanted to tell you something and you know how people say when you are drunk you say the truth?

Ishan: Ash, I think you have said enough already, what is left to say? what else is there? 

Ash: There is one thing and that is people like you are just Fuckable material but never dating material cause no one would like to settle with you, cause you are too much and push yourself onto the other. Thats all that I wanted to say, good night and take care okay. 

He wanted to hug is 15 year old self saying that it wasn't his fault that he believed that everyone was good and that he wanted a friend, that even now as he cries in the bathroom he knows that there are 10 people in this hotel who would leave there everything just to be with him. 

He wanted to hug that bleeding boy and wipe his eyes and tell him, that its not his rose coloured glasses which were faulty but the brown coloured glasses of other which wanted everyone around them to suffer. 

He wished to go back in past and tell himself that despite past and things people have done to him, he too shall find family in friends and that maybe his soulmate in one of them. 

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I wanted to write this because, I always want people to know that yes trust issues can happen because of stuff you have gone through in your past and that you will always feel the world cave in and that sometimes maybe it does cave in but always... and I mean always try to find your way out maybe the next sunshine or rain brings your happiness, you never know and never ever compare your sadness, achievement, happiness and journey to other cause each one has their own journey and process to go through maybe you will cross paths while others might want to drag you down, but you are on your own sometimes quite times would mean a lot to you than the people who make you feel lonely in a crowd. 

Who knows maybe a stranger online can be your next best friend or the person you never spoke to might be your friend you never know unless you try. 

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Aaj keliye itna gyan khafi tha lol bohot zyada hogaya (❁'◡'❁)