Roz:
Sun.
The sun is so welcoming as it engulfs my whole body in a warm hug, it's also my last name. But when I think of the sun I think of light and happiness and one thing i haven't had in my life is that.
Growing up has never been easy for me. My parents don't deserve the title of parent. They were awful. They left me with random people all the time and I didn't know what to do. Good thing everyone they left me with never put me in harms way. They actually cared more about me than my own parents.
My mom was a crack addict and my dad was always high from weed. The house was always dirty and it smelled bad. They would wait there money on the stupid drugs so we barely had food. Most days I was hungry, until they left and someone would come to take care of me and would feed me.
I was always forgotten. They never paid attention to me or what I did unless it was something I did wrong then they would notice. I craved their attention so much that I did bad things on purpose just so that they would notice me, not caring about the punishment.
They were abusive. Not just to me but too each other too. There would be nights that I couldn't sleep because they would be screaming and hitting. I hated it.
When my mom died from overdose to say I was relieved would be an understatement, I was elated. My mom was the one who hit me all the time. My dad would try to protect me from it. When it was just him and I it was a little better, but he was grieving. Even though they were awful to each other there was love somewhere in their twisted hearts.
It took dad some time to get over moms death but he did. I was still neglected by him because he didn't know how to be a good dad to save his life, but at some point I realized that I can just raise myself.
I cooked, cleaned, and took good care of myself. Dad of course didn't notice but it didn't matter anymore. I was exhausted from begging for their attention my whole life and I didn't want to do it again. I became closed off and a little cold, which makes sense since my last name is winters.
But now I'm twenty one living in Boston not knowing what to do after I graduate college. I was very smart and got a full ride into Boston university. I'm very proud of all the hard work I've put into these past two years.
Sitting in my cramped dorm room scrolling on my phone I get a knock on my door. "Come in." I yell from my bed. My roommate Lexi walks in with a bright smile on her beautiful face. "Roz guess what." I roll my eyes at her and give her a look that says 'just tell me'.
"Brice just asked me out." I smile for her but really I don't care. "That's great Lexington." I shake my head and look back down at my phone.
It's not that I don't care about her I just don't care about her relationship. Brice and her have been dating for three months now and she finds it necessary to tell me every little detail about it. I should feel lucky that she doesn't talk about her sex life with me; that would suck.
"Rosi you never go anywhere but here or your classes." I look back up at her and roll my eyes. "And..." she moves her computer to sit on her bed as she's facing me. "And you need to go other places."
"No lex. I like my routine of school and home." Now she's rolling her eyes. "I know but you need to get out there. You've never had one date since you've been here." I start to get uncomfortable.
She always brings up my empty track record of zero boyfriends since being here. Actually I've never had a boyfriend. I found it useless and a waist of time. I was also scared to end up like my parents. I glued my head to my books and that's how I'm here now, I have no regrets.
"I don't need a boyfriend lex." I look back down at my phone and she stands and takes it from me. "Lexington give me my phone back." I give her a disgruntled look. "No. I'm taking you to that new club that just opened up downtown."
