For My Deadly Sins

HER PURPOSE

She smiled at me, her smile brighter than the sun, and said "When you grow up, you'll be a big strong empress."

"But what if I dun wanna be empress?"

"Do you not want to be empress, Pet?" she asked, tucking away a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

"I dun wanna wear dresses all the time and always smile at everyone like you do. What if I meet someone I don't like?" I whined, "Like Aurin?" I added with conspiratorial whisper.

"But that's not all there is to being an empress." she took me in her arms, "Being an empress means being there for the empire and the people of the empire. You have to make important decisions and keep our people safe."

"But I dun wanna wear dresses.* I said with a humph.

"Okay pet. You don't have to wear dresses. But you'll be rethinking your choice very soon." she said, mischievously.

"Nuh uh! I wud not." I protested.

"Regardless of what you choose to wear, you, my daughter, have the power to change the world. Remember nothing matters more than keeping our people safe." she looked out lovingly towards the window that overlooked the city square. "Promise me Petrah, no matter what, you will not abandon your people."

"Oki mama, I promise." My mother pressed her forehead to mine lovingly as slowly fell asleep in her comforting arms.

The sunlight streamed through the grand, larger than life windows, with the dark blue blinds drawn open, as I jerked awake. I blinked against the blare. It took me a moment to realise where I was. I was not back there and then. I was in here and now: And for a minute I savoured the sounds of birds chirping, the wind twisting and twining among the trees until reality barrelled into me and my back hunched as if I were actually holding up a physical weight. I rubbed my face in my palms as I tried to wipe away the weariness that shadowed me.

I tried to recount what had happened yesterday before l'd fainted from sheer exhaustion. I'd gone out from the room I'd thought I had been confined to, for the first time in two weeks and I'd roamed through the streets of this place...what was this place? but I'd hardly registered anything of my surroundings. How could I? when it'd been just a few days since my heart had splintered in multiple parts, the guilt of the betrayal eating me alive. And then I'd seen a dark whirling pool of darkness, and it looked so beautiful like peace and eternity and the... End. Instinctively, I knew what I was facing and I was so close to erasing my existence, when a man appeared. I had been so lost in my despair that I hadn't noticed who exactly he was. But I knew, despite the fact he didn't owe me anything nor I him, he saved me.

He made me see reason. Made me make a more logical decision than an emotional one. And then I'd asked him...l'd asked him...a sharp pain sliced through my mind as if remembering yesterday's events was an immense mental strain.

A triad of knocks interrupted my thought process and snapping me from my trance. "Come in." If anybody intended to kill me again, it'd be better to get it over with.

A tall, well built, beautiful woman entered the room. She had pale cream skin offset by her flaming auburn her and her soft leaf green eyes. She carried herself with an air of superiority and strode into the room like she owned it. Considering how she looked, I wouldn't be surprised if she did.

"Good. You're finally awake." she said curtly.

"How...how long was I asleep?"

"Long enough." she said vaguely. Without giving me a chance to respond, she moved aside to reveal a young petite woman. "This is Merril. She'll tend to you for the remainder of your days in the palace." She turned to Merril, offering me no further explanation, "Get her dressed, we want her down at the dining room for breakfast."