R U Mine? - Alex Turner

Chapter I

05th April 2012
~ Coraline ~

It had been nearly an 1 hour since Cat burst into my room, extremely upset that she didn't have a suitable outfit for her party tonight.
Cat had never really been one to dress up for anything.
She preferred sweatpants and a comfortable sweater so long, that she didn't even need to wear any pants.
But as soon as the name Nick was mentioned, a switch flipped in her head.
Then she dug out the clothes that were stored deep in her closet and became almost obsessed with having to wear makeup.

Nick was her boyfriend for a few months by now.
She was very secretive about him and rarely told me anything about the man she had been dating.
I knew exactly 3 things about him: his name, his age, his passion.
Cat always talked about how Nick was in a band, but never wanted to tell me what it was called, let alone show me any songs.
She was just embarrassed because Nick's band was probably not a success.
Or so I thought.

Well, now I sat on my bed and watched with a bleeding heart as my best friend turned my whole room upside down.
I had a lot more dresses in my closet than she did and I was slowly starting to regret telling her that she could borrow something from me.
Because instead of properly going through the different pieces, she had to drag them out of the closet and throw them halfway across the room if she didn't like them.

"What do you think?" she asked, turning to me with a knee-length, red glittery dress pressed against her figure.

"That looks-" I began, hoping that she had finally decided on something.
She interrupted me with a "Too much glitter" and let it fall to the floor before her hands reached back into my closet.

I sighed and fell back into my pillows.
I love Caterina, of course, she was my best friend for as long as I could remember.
But she has changed, or rather, Nick has changed her.
It looks like she is trying to take on a role she is not made for, like trying to fit a triangular block into a rectangular shape.
The triangular block is Cat, a reserved and humorous person, someone who likes to stay away from chaos and picks up a book instead of going out partying.
The rectangular shape is the life of a rockstar girlfriend, where you can live life to the fullest, combined with fun and a love that is reflected not only in actions, but also in words that are made for only you and no one else.

And Caterina, my Caterina, doesn't fit into this picture.
I'm happy for her that she found someone who can accept her nerdy side, but I'm afraid of losing my best friend because of it.

"This is it!" she announced and turned back to me, in front of her, a black leather dress with a plunging neckline held together only by strings.
The dress was short, too short for her, but she seemed convinced that it was just right for her birthday party.
I sat up again and looked at her skeptically.

"Don't you think that's too revealing?"
I asked.
We fell silent as she looked down at her body to examine herself.
I waited for her to answer, praying that it was just another dress that she didn't like the longer she stared at it.
Then she just shrugged her shoulders.

"It's a party, Cora, you can dress sexy sometimes" she argued and put the dress over her arm, the thought of picking up my clothes from the floor and putting them back in the closet never occurred to her.
I remained dead silent as she made her way from my room back to hers.

'She knows what she is doing' I told myself, even though I couldn't get rid of the strange feeling in my stomach.

I couldn't shake the thought that at some point, the life Cat was trying to squeeze herself into would become too much for her.
I'd seen her heartbroken before, and
I don't want to go through that again.

'She knows what she is doing' I repeated in my head as if I was trying to convince myself that Cat was aware of her actions.

Without really wanting to think about it any further, I stood up and started picking up the clothes and putting them back in my closet.
After a few minutes I heard the quiet squeaking of my friend's bedroom door and the approaching footsteps.

"What do you think?" she asked as she stepped over my threshold and spread her arms to the side to show off my dress that clung to her body like a second skin.
I eyed her from head to toe and couldn't deny that she was really made for this dress.
Caterina had the figure and the perfect size for it.
I didn't.

"It suits you" I complimented and shot her a quick smile, my eyes flickered down her body before falling back to my closet.
I didn't have a crush on her, I was just jealous that my clothes suited her better than me.

"You should wear the dark green dress!" she suggested and took it out of my newly reorganized closet.
I loved this dress.
It was tight fitting and had two slits on either side of the thighs, each tied together with a string.
In addition, it had no sleeves and only a turtleneck to hold it up.

It was one of the pieces I was allowed to take home from a photo shoot because the seam was torn.
But nothing that my mother and her sewing skills couldn't fix.

I took the dress from her hand and put it back in the closet only to get a confused look from her.
I had no intention on hitting on any boys tonight, especially since I didn't know any of the 37 people Cat had invited.
And then wearing the dress was not a good idea because it literally screamed for attention.

"I'll find something" I said.
Cat rolled her eyes, a slight grin playing on her lips.

"Just because you've had your heart broken once doesn't mean you should stay away from men" she argued,
"You have a pretty face and a great figure, there wouldn't be a man tonight who wouldn't want to spend a night with you."

"It's not always just about sex" I shot back, my voice more aggressive than
I intended it to be.

"Have fun Cora, at least tonight"
Cat said, definitely sensing my tense mood.
I didn't answer her.
After my last boyfriend, I never let anyone get close to me again.
I didn't know if it was because I was mourning the almost 7-year relationship or because was simply scared to hurt anyone again.

Cat has probably suffered much worse than I have, but she cannot understand the pain I felt when the two most important people in my life left me on the same day.