Not My Body

2 || Not My Body

I haven't moved for hours.

I found a spot on the wall that's very fascinating. The wall is a cream color with a tint of yellow from the beside lamp.

Through the blinds an orange due begins to rise. I was supposed to be home hours ago, I just can't get up.

I know I need to. I doubt my parents are even up. More likely drunk and hungover. No one's fed Isaac yet.

My whole body's cold. I stare blankly at my shorts on the floor. I can't put them on. What if it happens again?

I stand up and a sharp pain shoots through my lower abdomen. I cry out then quickly slap my mouth shut. I wait a few menacing seconds in silence until I plan my next move.

There's a hardwood dresser a few feet away from me. I can quickly dig through and maybe find a pair of sweatpants.

I execute my plan and find a pair of sweats. They're a few sizes too big but I can pull the draw string tight. There's a mirror in the room that shows just my chest and up.

Who's this person in the mirror? My eyes are sunken in and purple under them. My once tan skin is now pale and my eyes are bloodshot.

I stare for a few moments. I didn't think or look at myself. I just.. just wasn't there.

I quickly blink and walk up to the door. What if he's out there? I stand there for at least a minute just grazing the knob.

My heartbeat quickens and I freeze as the door creaks. I can't do this again.

I step out into the hallway and can feel the cold through my socks. My shoes are in one hand and my phone in the other. I peer left then right and quietly make a move.

I reach the bottom of the steps and scan the living room. There's a few people passed out and some chatter in the kitchen. Maybe if I'm quiet enough I can get out.

Suddenly, I feel a thud from behind me and whip my head around. A guy with short black hair glides down the banister and I push my body as close to the wall as I can.

He quickly grabs a beer and downs it. I just have to act normal.

Nothing is wrong.

He burps then throws the beer can before cheering. "Hey, I saw you taking to my boy last night!" My brows furrow but I quickly paste on a blank expression.

"Saw you talking to Joshua." My body tenses and I tighten the grip on my shoes and phone. He chuckles, obviously oblivious. "He's a player. Wouldn't do that If I were you."

If only I had a fucking choice.

I begin to walk to the door. "Thanks for the tip." I open the door and quickly slam it behind me. "Fuck." I don't have a ride.

My friends were supposed to take everyone home. I grab my phone and try to put in my password. It won't turn on and shows a red battery.

Okay, this is how it's looking. I don't have a ride or any phone battery. On a normal day I would be pissed and in a bad mood the rest of the day. But nothing could ruin my 'peace' today. Nothing.

My legs shoot pain through me as I walk. My house is no where near Joshua's. The fresh air glides against my skin and makes my face feel numb. My skin and veins are ice cold.

Eventually, I get home and quietly open the door. When I open the door my brother Issac immediately runs up to me teary eyed. I crouch and get eye level with him. "What's wrong?" He sniffles and takes a few moments.

"The.. they are angry this morning." My heart aches for him and my fist clench until they are white. "Did they hurt you?" He nods no. "I hid like you told me to."

I stand up and take a deep breath before heading towards their room. My parents like to drink. They get angry when they drink. Begin to discipline in different ways. I know what they do is wrong, I'm not dumb. I just have no way to get out.

I hear objects being thrown around and the television. I tense my back and open the door to their room. If I don't talk to them then who knows how they will act to Issac.

"Where the fuck were you?" My dads breath could take down an elephant. His teeth are yellow from the tint of the beer and not caring for his hygiene enough. I stand in the door way before he gets extremely close and pushes me up against the hallway's wall.

"I asked you a question missy." I stare up at him and my voice is hardly a whisper. "My friends house." He stares at me before slapping me across my face.

A shock wave flows through my face and stings for a few moments. "Get me some fucking Beer." He throws me a few dollars and shoved me down the hall. My body jumps as he slams the door closed and I hear yelling begin.

I cover my cheek and put on a poker face. I round the corner and grab his keys. I don't have a car yet, don't have enough money for it. "Issac, wanna go on a drive with me?"

He nods and clings onto my leg as we walk to the car.

My parents use to never be like this as a matter of fact. My dad was a hardworking caring father, and my mother was a stay at home mom that would hug me after I fell off my bike and scraped my knee.

It wasn't until Mary died. God, mom and dad's angel child. Perfect in every way, school? Check. Attire? Check. Everything? Check.

I guess the first born is always the best.

I loved Mary but was always a little jealous. She always hogged their attention. Everyone's attention to be honest. She had a glow everywhere she went.

After Mary died I began to smoke and have more fun. I always promise to myself I will never be like my parents. Just need to get away from my life every once and awhile.

But hey, I have all my parents attention now, huh?

I tapped on the steering wheel as we drove back. I could only get three beers. That might last them an hour if I'm lucky enough.

-End of chapter-