BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Year 2017

Chapter 96- Get It Through Your Head

Author's Note: So, guys I f*cked up badly lol (once again...)... the AMAs was actually the 19th but for some reason I thought it was the 20th... so we're just gonna go with it being the 20th for the story lol. Sorry about that 😬

November 20th, 2017:

I woke up after a not-so-great sleep much earlier than I needed, but I had been fighting for sleep all night and didn't think trying some more for an hour and a half was going to do much. The sun was just starting to creep into the room through the crack in the curtain. I turn to get out of bed and instantly freeze, initially ready to run out of the room screaming for security but quite quickly calming down. It was just Jungkook. He was sound asleep in the other bed, his cheek squished into the pillow. I had no clue how he had gotten in, or why, but there was no point in waking him up to ask now. It was better, and nicer, to just let him sleep. I quietly got up and picked up the bag, of now, water I'd untaped from my shoulder mid-sleep during the night.

I emptied it in the bathroom sink, showered, and did my skincare routine. I still had pain in my shoulder, but it wasn't as intense as it had been. Hopefully, it would remain this way. I couldn't allow it to bother me at all today anyway. I had to perform perfectly, no matter my physical or mental state.

I went back into the room and Jungkook was still soundly asleep. I unplugged my phone and went to sit at my desk. I had texts from everyone wishing me luck, and Hanbin's reply to my texts from last night.

Hanbin: You're an amazing idol Y/N, there's so much that's special about you, it's just harder rn but it doesn't mean you shouldn't be doing this

Hanbin: Also doubt the boys resent you for anything... like at all

Hanbin: I love you

Hanbin: And I'm sure your members do too

Hanbin: Let's call tomorrow

I sighed as I read the messages. I knew he was right. I knew it, but I still couldn't stop the annoying, depressive thoughts from creeping into my mind because if I was really asking myself what I brought to the group other than being a female and speaking English, I was coming up quite empty-handed. I know Taehyung had mentioned my producing, but the rappers had that covered mostly. I didn't add much really. If I suddenly left, they would still do just fine. I looked over at Jungkook sleeping peacefully. If I were to disappear, they might miss me as a friend, but they probably wouldn't as a member. And that was the sad reality of it.

I put my phone down not responding to Hanbin and rolled out my yoga mat to do some easy Pilates to see how well my shoulder was doing.

"Y/N... you shouldn't be doing that," Jungkook says in a groggy morning voice, "you should be resting your shoulder".

"Morning," I say, looking his way mid-stance, "just want to see how it feels. It's nothing strenuous".

I could see Jungkook frown but didn't counter. Instead, he sits up, grabbing his phone.

"What are you doing in my room anyways?" I ask standing up and ending my short workout.

"... I don't know... didn't want to be alone," he says sheepishly, "was stressed and stuff cuz of the performance today".

"... Right," I nod, looking at him suspiciously, "I'm sure Jimin oppa would have actually talked with you and stuff. I didn't even know you came".