My Heart Belongs To You

Lonely Place

Chapter 19

Laney

    

     I have not seen Andy since I left him there in front of the school. Andy didn't show up for school the rest of the month. Not even for graduation. A few of the kids said he dropped out and left. I avoided going by his house afraid I would see him or he would see me. I didn't see his car driving around anywhere. I guess he did leave. I couldn't help feeling like shit that this was my fault. I hurt him. And he didn't even know why.

The last month of school didn't feel the same. I walked through the halls like a ghost. Avoiding anyone who asked me about Andy.

Mom and Liam kept asking me if I was okay. I don't know how many times I told them I was fine but deep down they knew. They knew I was heartbroken.

I got into one of the colleges I applied for in Phoenix AZ. At the same time I wasn't too sure if wanted to go. My world was in complete shambles. And I wasn't too sure how to get out of it.

Depression had taken over and I wasn't happy. Most nights I cried myself to sleep. But everytime I closed my eyes all I saw was the memories that I had with Andy and the look in his eyes of that day. I guess you could say I wasn't sleeping too good either. My eating habits went from 3 meals a day to 1 meal a day or small portions or never at all. Most of the time I didn't feel like eating or doing anything. I laid in my bed and just watched movies and some even on repeat. I was caved in my room like a bat in the dark with no light for days. Mom came in occasionally with food that I never finished. Liam visited only to check up on me.

Days had turned to weeks and weeks turned to a month. At this point mom was starting to worry more about my health and told me I needed help.

I hear a knock on the door and the door slowly opens. And a familiar voice calls my name.
"Laney? Can I come in?"

It's dad.

Dad comes in and closes the door behind him. Dad slowly walks over to my bed where I layed comfortably on my pillow and the blanket covering me. I stared at the wall in front of me as I hear my dad sit at the edge of the bed.

My dad finally breaks the silence after a few minutes.

"You know Laney....I know I haven't always been the best father in the world. And I may have ruined alot of that for you and your mom. And I'm sorry for all that. I should've been here and I should be here now...."

"What are doing here dad?" I interrupt.

"Your mom is worried about you, so is Liam. And ....so am I." Dad replies.

I sit up.

"So what? I'm suppose to just forgive you for everything you did like mom. But get this...I'm not mom. And none of this has anything to do with you." I retort.

"Okay. So then tell me?" Dad calmly ask.

"You wouldn't understand." I say.

"Try me." Dad says.

It gets silent.

And I don't know why but I just said it. "I hurt him." I say quietly as a tear drops down onto my lap.

Dad doesn't say anything only to listen.

"I hurt him so bad and he doesn't even know why. I said something I didn't mean and it hurt him and me. I lefted him there in front of the school. I can't forgive myself for that and neither can he. I should've gone back. I should've. And now it's too late!" I continued only this time tears were falling uncontrollably down my face and I was starting to shake. Dad immediately wrapped his arms around me and I couldn't stop crying.

"You can't do that to yourself Laney. I may not understand why it happened but I'm sure you had your reasons and maybe one day you can explain that to him and he will forgive you and most importantly you can forgive yourself. But for now you gotta take care of yourself first." Dad cries holding me.

After what seemed forever I must've felt so exhausted from my breakdown that I fell asleep that I didn't realize dad left. I see a note on my bed stand and I picked it up. It read "You are my best girl. You can fight your way out of this. Love dad."

I smiled. I looked up to see it was 2 in the morning and for some reason I felt abit better. I got out of bed and grabbed some clean clothes and took a shower. The water felt so refreshing. After that I brushed my teeth and laid back down on my bed. I couldn't sleep so I put in a movie and didn't know when I dozed off.

I woke up the next morning and walked down to the kitchen. Mom as usual was sitting at the counter drinking her coffee. I walked over and gave my mom a long hug.

"Hey...how do you feel?" Mom asks.
"Better than yesterday." I reply.

"I'm glad."

"Where's dad?" I ask.

"He lefted early this morning. He had to work. But he promises to be back to check up on you later." Mom says.

I talked with Liam later that day and being my bestfriend he reassured me that everything will be okay.

I hadn't realized how much of a mess my room was until I started cleaning it. I came across my acceptance letter from ASU. And just like that...it felt like another puzzle had fit into place. I was at the start of a new beginning. I was going to college.