Under the same Umbrella ||Sookai Story|| [eng]

☔︎Seven☔︎

Soobin's pov

After having dinner we walk along the seafront, with the waves washing our feet, the sun is slowly setting and Kai and I are hand in hand enjoying the moment, while Taehyun is behind us.
The light illuminates Kai's face with golden and bronze rays, making him even more beautiful, his carefree and delicate smile fills my heart with joy and makes me blush simply by looking at him.
I would give everything to see him this happy, I just want to kiss him right now... I'm getting so paranoid about what will happen to my career, my family and my fame, when all I want is to disappear and live every moment of my life with him... Maybe it's all to avoid thinking about my greatest fear... Him abandoning me... What if he doesn't accept loving me? What if he doesn't want to love me? What if he can't?
"Why don't we stop and watch the sunset?" Kai asks in his puppy manner.
"Okay puppy!" I reply, taking his face in my hands and touching his soft cheeks.
He laughs and blushes, making him even cuter, I let him rest his head on my shoulder, putting a hand on his arm to keep him close.
We remain in silence enjoying the last moments of the sun, before it disappears behind the sea, although the view is wonderful I can only look at him, admiring every detail, staring a little too much at his lips, they seem so soft!
"You're so beautiful Kai!" I tell him all of a sudden, not even realizing what I'm saying, too in love to care.
"T-thank you... But I think you're more beautiful Binnie" He says blushing.
"I don't think so!" I take a pause, as a thought flashes through my mind... This is one of these now or never moments.
"Kai..." The words die in my mouth, his look is so innocent and the paranoias hunt my mind, I'm left breathless as I swallow trying to tell him how I feel, before it's too late.
"What is it Soobin?" He asks worriedly, I look at Taehyun behind him, I'm panicking.
Taehyun nods, giving me courage and after a deep breath I find peace in my mind.
I take both of his hands, making sure he looks me in the eyes and I let the words flow "Kai... I-I know what I'm about to say and do might seem strange, but please promise me you won't leave me... I will give you all the time you need to understand, but please stay, as I have repeated many times today, I need you... Now more than ever, please" I tell him almost crying.
"Okay Soobin, but please tell me what you need to tell me, you're killing me by doing this!" He responds, stroking my face, I enjoy that touch, smiling, feeling carefree like a child for a second.
"Kai I love you and not just as a friend... I want you with me for the rest of my life" I tell him, he remains speechless, trying to understand everything that is happening, without hesitating I hold his head and I kiss him.
I close my eyes and I let myself go, even though he is completely confused and surprised by my actions.
As soon as I get back to my senses, I glimpse Taehyun with his mouth wide open, before I focus on Kai again, on his eyes so sweet and lively.
"Soobin... I... I d-don't know what's happening! I want to tell you that I love you too... But I don't know... I don't know if it's all true or if it's just because I haven't seen you in a long time" He replies, seeing his eyes become shiny.
"I know, that's why I don't want to force anything on you, you have plenty of time to reflect and reason, I'll even wait my whole life if necessary" I reply, hugging him, trying to calm his confused mind.
He tightens the hug as I feel him sigh and melt into the embrace, he feels safe with me... I want him to always feel this way with me.
"Here, my business card, there's my phone number" I tell him, giving him the card.
"Thank you... I-it's not a problem for you if we sp-spend the night together, r-right?" Kai asks me.
"Of course not! You can sleep with me in my apartment! If that's okay with Taehyun too" I say, indirectly asking him too.
"Of course I'm fine with it! Just don't fuck him already!" He says, making me laugh, mostly for Kai's side eye.
"No no, don't worry!" I reply "Let's get your stuff and go home!" I say enthusiastically.

Kai's pov

As Soobin takes me to his apartment I can't help but think about what he said... He loves me! He likes me! How? We almost never see each other! How can he love me? And how does he know? Is it like a fever where you have symptoms and then it comes? I'm so confused and... Sad... I want to love him back, but how do I know if I love him? I've never loved anyone before!
"Hey! Is something wrong?" He asks me as I look out the window.
"I'm confused by many things... I have no idea how love works... I've never loved anyone... I don't know exactly how someone falls in love... I don't even know what's been happening to me since you back in my life, it's like everything I felt for you has tripled, I feel so little! I feel like I'm a kid!" I say staying honest with what I feel and what I think.
"You had to grow up quickly Kai, it's normal to feel like this and it's normal to be confused, it took me a year too, before I understood what was happening inside me" He replies with his gaze fixed on the road.
"What does it feel like when you love someone? What do you feel when you're with me?" I ask him trying to understand myself.
"Well my heart beats like crazy, as if I were running a marathon, it takes your breath away, I feel nervous, almost unfitting, I feel butterflies in my stomach.... You blush, your hands sweat sometimes... Everything becomes more beautiful, everything seems to fall into place, I'm fine, you feel safe when you have this person by your side... I feel simple next to you" He replies, looking at me with the corner of his eye.
I feel my face on fire and I have to look away to not go crazy... Maybe I love him too... I don't know... Why are emotions so difficult to understand!?
"We're here" Soobin says getting out of the car, I take my stuff and I follow him into the building.

"Welcome to my not-so-humble abode!" Soobin says letting me into his house.
"Thank you, your apartment is lovely!" I say looking around.
"Put your bag in my room, I don't think we'll be awake for a long time anyway... Honestly, I'm a bit tired"
"Well yeah, actually I'm tired too" I say, letting Soobin take me to the bedroom, I put my bag on a chair and I look around once again.
"Kai, go ahead and make yourself at home, don't worry! Do you want to watch a movie?" He asks me.
"Uh yes! What movie are we watching?" I say sitting on the bed next to him.
"Whatever you want" He replies.
"How about Avengers: Age of Ultron?" I ask him.
"I love that movie! Should we settle down for bed and watch it?" He asks me again.
"Sure, okay!" I say suddenly wanting to kiss him on the cheek "Can I give you a kiss?" I ask him before realizing what I just said.
"Kai you can do whatever you want with me, you don't have to ask, someone so in love would do anything to be as close as possible to the person they love" He explains smiling, I smile back and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Hey... It's not a problem for you if I wear underwear, right? In the summer I never wear pajamas or anything else" He asks, blushing slightly.
"No problem! I also often wear my underwear while I sleep" I reply, taking my things, going to the bathroom to wash myself.

Suddenly I feel nervous at the thought of spending the night with him, but I'm not nervous due to fear or anger... It's different... A type of nervousness that I never felt before!
I try to calm my heart beat and to breathe as normally as I can while I look at myself in the mirror... I feel like I'm going crazy... I don't understand anything anymore.
"Kai? Is everything okay?" He asks me from outside.
"Oh... Y-yeah, I just got lost in my thoughts, two seconds and I'll be there" I reply to not let him worry.
"Okay, okay, take your time, don't worry" He tells me and I quickly undress, remaining in my underwear and leaving the bathroom.
I go back to the room where everything is ready to watch the movie and Soobin is shirtless, wearing gray shorts as he gapes at me, dropping the remote control on the floor.
I starts to blush under his enchanted gaze "W-what is it Binnie?" I ask him, unable to look him in the eyes.
"My God I want to kiss you so bad! I would kiss every single inch of you... God you are so beautiful!" He answers me as if he was in a trance.
"I just want to hug you" I say sincerely, looking at his face.
"Please do it" He looks at me almost begging me, I smile and I move closer, hugging him from behind.
"Go wash yourself" I tell him, kissing him on the cheek and touching his belly, while he gives me a kiss on my neck, on my mole.
I sit on the bed, covering myself with the sheets, saving his number and looking at my phone while I wait for him.

He comes back shortly after, sitting next to me, pressing "play" and holding me close, resting his hand on my hip.
I feel my heart beating wildly once again and the desire to kiss and touch him rises within me, I caress his thigh without even realizing it and I can hear a heavy sigh from him, involuntarily I smile satisfied with what I'm doing.
I completely turn my attention away from the movie, focusing on Soobin.
I give him a kiss on the cheek, then on the neck, then at the collarbone, I feel his grip becoming firmer, making me shiver.
"Please continue, I love what you're doing" He whispers to me, turning off the TV, keeping his hands firm on my hips.
I sit on him, kissing his chest, his torso, his belly, until I kiss him just above the elastic of his shorts.
"Stop, stop... I might not keep Taehyun's promise if you continue" He says quickly, almost out of breath.
"I wanna stay close to you as much as possible Binnie! As if I can't stop... As if you're a drug... Is this normal?" I ask him confused by my own actions... Why did I kiss him like that? Why am I sitting on him like this? Why am I smiling?
"Yes, that's normal Kai... You're falling in love, it's completely normal that you want to be with me all the time... I want it too" He replies, reversing the position and kissing every single centimeter of my body, not even giving me time to fully register what he said.
I feel his lips move all over my body, I can't help but tighten my grip on Soobin's hips, while everything he's doing makes me lose my breath, makes my eyes teary out of pleasure.
"It's beautiful Binnie" I say almost breathlessly as a few moans escape from my mouth.
"It's better if I stop, we might have some problems if we continue" He replies looking at me and smiling sweetly.
"Kiss me, I want to fall asleep while I'm still kissing you as if you were my prince" I say putting my arms on his shoulders, around his neck.
And so one kiss, after another, after another, until we are lying with our hands on each other's hips, with our kisses growing more and more tired.
"Goodnight puppy" Soobin whispers between kisses.
"Good night Binnie" I reply not wanting to stop this chain of kisses.
Slowly we fall asleep, with our lips still slightly touching, one next to the other.