What is Love? (Sinta Series #2)

25

"Elijah's in seclusion. Did you know?"

"I made sure to make him pay. Trust me, I did."

"I just could never bring myself to totally let you go that's why I'm here... I showed up in your life again..."

"Don't tell me my part in your life is over, Cali..."

Nagpaulit ulit sa isip ko ang sinabing iyon ni Nathan.

I was just staring at the screen, watching my cursor continuously blinking. 

I was planning to start another chapter of my novel but I couldn't take Nathan off my head, and everything he said.

He explained na dahil may royalty blood pa rin si Eli ay hindi hinayaan ng family niya na makulong ito. Pero 'wag daw akong mag-alala dahil sa ngayon daw ay nagbabayad na ito sa ginawa niya sa akin noon.

Hindi na rin ako nag-usisa, dahil wala na rin naman akong pakiealam.

How many years has it been?

More than five? Almost ten?

I literally didn't see Eli again after he unintentionally crashed my 18th birthday party.

Thankfully.

Oo, ayos na ako, pero hindi naman ibig sabihin no'n, eh makakalimutan ko na lahat ng nangyari sa amin noon. I will never forget that.

Still, why does he have to be Nathan's cousin? Of all people, really?

Magkaiba naman sila.

Alam ko 'yon. 

Kay Eli ako nagalit. Labas si Nathan doon.

I heaved a deep sigh.

Nathan already revealed his intention to be in my life again...

That's what I've been waiting for, right?

For him to be in my life again.

I've been waiting for this moment for so long.

Pero, ba't parang hindi tugma ang pusa at isip ko?

My heart wants him, but my mind says we're better off this way — friends or just strangers with good memories.

Anong nangyayari?

"That's fear, Cali. You're afraid now more than ever, to be vulnerable again... because the last time you did, you ended up alone. He left you, just when you finally opened up and trusted someone again..."

I had an emergency call with Doctor Valenzia one Saturday night.

I stayed in, I cancelled my weekend plans, so I could have this talk with Doctor Valenzia.

"But... I do know that I love him, I know that I want him back... Ang gulo lang ng puso at isip ko, hindi sila tugma..." sagot ko sa kanya, nakatitig lang din siya sa akin, pinapanood ang mukha ko.

"Cali, it's okay. Whatever you're feeling is valid, always remember that. If you want to relish in the moments and take it slow, do it. If you suddenly realize one day you're better off without him, then that's okay, too.

What's not okay, is to never put your feelings first or disregard what you really feel. You've been through a lot, kayo ni Nathan, ang daming nangyari, ilang taon na rin ang lumipas and maybe time really does heal all wounds, pero, don't force anything, Cali."