Whenever Monarch was defeated, we thought that everything would go back to how it was before. We thought we could express ourselves freely. We could feel what we wanted to feel. And we were able to. Just not for long. Lila Rossi as we know her, but...
As I stormed out of the donning room, my fists clenched at my sides, I couldn't shake the burning anger seething within me. How could they do this to me? How could they let her stay at the manor, where she would undoubtedly disrupt my carefully constructed walls of detachment? She's my biggest weakness, and I can't afford to be weak, not in this world.
I pushed through the corridors, ignoring the giggles and chit chat that was continuing on behind me. Every step felt like a battle against the turmoil raging inside me. I refuse to be controlled by my emotions, especially when it comes to her.
Once I reached my room, I slammed my door shut, the walls rattling with the force of it. I go to my easel in the corner of my room and begin painting the anger and frustration that burns within me. Within seconds the canvas is covered in shades of reds, grays, blacks, and purples. Each stroke of my brush combining into one final product of... a very familiar face.
Even here, in the solitary confinement of my room, I cannot escape Angel.
"You are an excellent artist, this looks just like the guardian, but in a different pallet of course." The horse Kwami pops up in front of me.
"What do you want, Kwamii?" I snap, my voice sharp with irritation.
"My name is Kaalki; a Kwami is what I am. It is not my name. I will allow your disrespect to slide this time since you did not yet know my name."
I huff a breath, who did this miniature horse think she was? She probably wasn't even powerful; she certainly wasn't as powerful as the ladybug and black cats miraculous.
Kaalki regarded me with her piercing gaze, unflinching in the face of my hostility. "Don't play games with me, Damian Wayne. You can't hide your feelings from someone who sees straight through you."
I scoffed, crossing my arms defiantly. "I have no idea what you're talking about." I did, but the more I denied it, the less real it was.
She snorted, clearly unimpressed by my facade. "You can lie to yourself all you want, but you can't deny the truth. You love her, Damian. You love Marinette."
My breath caught in my throat, a surge of panic and denial flooding through me. "That's absurd. I don't love anyone. Love is a weakness, and I refuse to succumb to it."
Kaalki shook her head, her mane swaying with the motion. "You're a fool if you think love is weakness. It takes strength to love, to open yourself up to another person."
I bristled at her words, feeling the walls around my heart quiver with uncertainty. "I can't afford to be weak. Not when there are enemies lurking in every shadow, waiting to exploit any vulnerability."
"Your fear is what's holding you back, Damian," Kaalki said giving me a once-over. "You're so afraid of losing her that you push her away before you can get hurt. But in doing so, you're only hurting yourself."
I clenched my jaw, my fists trembling from how hard I clenched them. "I won't let myself be consumed by this... this weakness. I refuse to act on these foolish feelings."
Kaalki regarded me with a mixture of sympathy and exasperation. "You can deny it all you want, but the truth remains. You love her, Damian. And until you accept that, you'll never find peace."
For a moment, silence hung heavy in the air between us, the weight of her words sinking in. And then, with a heavy sigh, I finally admitted the truth, if only to myself.
"I love her," I whispered, the words feeling foreign and unfamiliar on my tongue. "But I can't... I won't let myself be consumed by it."
Kaalki nodded, her expression softening with understanding. "You don't have to face this alone, Damian. Let her in. She might just be the strength you need."
With that, she fazed through the floor, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the tumultuous storm of emotions raging within me. And as much as I wanted to deny it, I couldn't shake the nagging fear that she was right. That maybe, just maybe, love wasn't a weakness after all.
Even if I do come to the conclusion that love isn't weak, Angel would never forgive me. I lied to her, I said I used her. For possible the second time in my life I felt the worst feeling I have faced.
