In Between | Eren Jaeger

chapter 6 | the unknown

Week 1

A groan escaped my mouth. I rolled over, splaying my arm out over the edge to turn the alarm on my phone off as I pulled the duvet over my head to shield my face from the sun. Though, the morning fogginess cleared after a couple of seconds of reaching for my phone but failing miserably, and I realised that there was in fact no sun to shield my face from.

The mattress, the mattress felt odd. I only liked to sleep on hard mattresses, but the soft surface beneath my body completely threw me off guard and diminished any ounce of sleep left in me. And then, I opened my eyes and soon regretted waking up to begin with.

Because I was no longer in my room.

No, far from it. The first thing I noticed were the plain, metal walls and instantly, I felt my stomach lurch and my throat dry up. My walls were light grey and scattered with old polaroids from my childhood as well as other certificates of events I hardly even remember, but these walls were steel and dispossessed of anything that indicated any sort of meaning. And the perimeter was oddly symmetrical and squared, the length of the walls were the same as the width like I was trapped in a cage, this was a drastic difference from my rectangular room where the ceiling was slightly slanted and plastered with glow-in-the-dark stars because I was fucking terrified of pitch, black darkness.

Where the fuck am I?

I shot out of the bed, but paused, realising that I was no longer wearing my Hello Kitty pyjama pants and my yellow, SpongeBob t-shirt but dystopian, white apparels, the type of scrubs doctors donned and when I moved, a spark of pain exploded around my neck. It felt incredibly sore, like someone had tried to hack my neck with an axe but had terrible aim.

But the odd pain and the wardrobe change was the least of my problems because all I could even think about was how history was repeating itself again. I didn't recognise this place but I sure as hell knew that this wasn't the first time I'd been trapped in a cage like this, forced to endure whatever fucked up conditions it was that made me have no recollection of the event whatsoever. All I knew was that I didn't want to be here, I wanted to be as far away from this place as possible- I wouldn't be able to handle it again. I survived once but I sure as hell wouldn't be able to survive it again. My mind was too fragile, too weak and expendable, I was susceptible to stress and grief, I couldn't—

When did you give in so easily without even figuring a way out? Ant's voice echoed in my head, even when he wasn't here he found a way of haunting me wherever I go, but I needed him now more than ever.

What if it was all a cruel dream? I pinched my skin, over and over again, but even nightmares ended, this didn't.

You're conscious, Ant scolded, you're awake, you're aware of your surroundings, other than the pain in your neck you're in good health, you're stronger than anyone I know. Use that to your advantage.

"My advantage?" I scoffed, sitting on the edge of the bed that I had deemed the safest corner in the room, though, I knew that none of this could ever be deemed as safe. "What advantage do I have when I've been kidnapped?"

I should have known.

The gut feeling had been circulating around my entire body for almost a week. I should have known from the moment I saw a figure standing in my garden, from when my alarm clock magically teleported to my kitchen, when my windows were wide open in the middle of the night- heck, I should've known the moment I felt goosebumps and made eye contact with a stranger after Floch left the shop that something was so terribly wrong. But I ignored the feeling, swept aside my so-called delusions and convinced myself that my lack of sleep induced constant paranoia. When did I stop trusting myself? When did I become so weak and pathetic?