RIGHT FOOT | klance (keith x lance)

12. Only you

Keith couldn't sleep. He was stupid. He was the dumbest person he'd ever met. He shouldn't have done that; he should've never started any of that. Now he was in too deep and he was doing things exactly the same way Lance's ex had done and he was a dumb, dumb person. He kept as still as possible, regretting ever having been born, for as long as he could. God only knew how long he stayed like that, trying not to wake Lance up, trying not to make a sound.

He needed to think, but he couldn't. He wanted to keep kissing Lance, he wanted to wake Lance up and tell Lance how he felt, but he couldn't. He had to think properly. He had to try understanding what the hell was happening first. Maybe Lance did feel something for him? Lance had kissed him, right? He was the one to start the kiss. He had been the one to do that. But if that was true, then why did he stop talking to Keith after the day at the club?

So maybe Lance didn't like Keith. But had decided to humour himself by giving Keith a chance because, hey, they were kind of friends, right? And Keith wouldn't hurt Lance. Maybe Lance knew that. Maybe lance knew how Keith felt. And since Keith was oh so desperate not to let Shiro know, Lance wouldn't get in trouble. No. That wasn't Lance at all. Keith crossed that possibility out of his mental list.

And Lance wanted Keith to tell Shiro, right? He had said that. So Keith was back to thinking maybe he had gotten everything wrong from the beginning and maybe they really had been going out on dates from day one. But if that was the case, why would Lance let Keith act just like Lotor had? And why didn't Pidge say anything? And, once again, why did things get weird after the night at the club? If Lance liked Keith that shouldn't have been a problem right? But, apparently, it had been. The blowjob had been a problem because things had gotten weird after that. And Lance had asked Keith to forget about it, to forget about that night.

Keith felt like crying, he felt like exploding. After a long time, when he could hear birds singing outside, he decided to, carefully, get up. He was as careful as possible, grabbing his phone, going to the bathroom that wasn't in Lance's room and locking himself in there.

He sat on the floor, back to the door and hugged his knees, texting Pidge for help and checking the time. It was six in the morning. There was no way Pidge was awake and he couldn't text Shiro because if he did that Shiro would demand to know where he was and... That would be a mess. Besides, Shiro had invited Matt over, so the odds of him actually being awake at that time were small, since they had probably spent the night doing... Things Keith didn't want to picture his big brother doing.

So he waited, staring at the chat with Pidge, hoping that the message would be read soon. He decided to play every game he had on his phone while he waited and to count to a hundred and then back, so maybe he could fall asleep, but he didn't. He started remembering the previous night and his chest hurt. He had kissed Lance. Lance had kissed him. It was all the same.

But what did that mean, anyway? Did it mean Lance liked him? Maybe Lance just wanted to get into Keith's pants. But then, again, that wasn't Lance. Not the Lance Keith had met, not the Lance Keith had learnt to be the real Lance. That was the media's portrayal of Lance. That was Lance McClain, The Paladins' vocalist, known womaniser, as described by Glossip Magazine. It wasn't Lance.

Keith felt tears start coming from his eyes and groaned in frustration. No. He was not going to cry because of that. It wasn't him. He didn't cry for men. He wouldn't cry because of whatever the hell was happening to him, it was ridiculous, he wasn't a teenager anymore. He was a grown adult. But he couldn't stop the tears from streaming down his face, which only made him feel angrier. There was a knock on the door.

"Keith?" Lance's voice was muffled and Keith wasn't sure if his voice was going to come out steady. Stupid tears, stupid feelings. "Is everything alright?" Lance tried again.