The Rising Of the Shield Hero X M Y/N

Chapter 11: Y/N'S Back Story

As long as i can remember, it had always been just my mother and I. My father was very much alive, but he was no longer in the picture. It seemed as though my parents had gone through a tumultuous and ultimately unsuccessful marital relationship, resulting in their separation.

Though there was a time when our family had been whole and cohesive, before the day when my father inexplicably left. Although I never truly learned the cause of this abrupt and sudden departure, my mother declined to provide me with an explanation. Regardless, it was evident that this event had profoundly impacted the dynamic of our family, fracturing us away from the blissful unity we once shared.

Once my father left, my mother was no longer the same woman she had once been. Instead, she turned to alcohol in an attempt to numb her pain away, hiding herself away in a drunken stupor for lengthy periods of time.

Though she never physically abused me, our interactions were limited, if not nonexistent. Her constant retreat into her solitary habits of drinking and isolation resulted in a lack of any bonding or meaningful connection between us.

Due to the unfortunate circumstances of my father's abandonment and the subsequent transformation of my mother's behavior and disposition, I was abruptly forced to mature at a young age, taking responsibility for both my mother and myself. The process was arduous at first, as I struggled to adjust to my new and unexpected position as the caretaker of the family.

Although I was resentful of the situation, I attempted to show understanding and empathy towards my mother and her situation. I strove to see things from her perspective, to understand her plight and to make sense of her behavior. Unfortunately, despite my attempts, I was unable to truly comprehend what had lead her to this point.

I was sympathetic towards my mother and her circumstances. I attempted to alleviate her burdens by exerting myself to the fullest, acquiring excellent grades and learning a multitude of unique and advanced skills. I was dedicated to doing my best, in the hopes that my mother might derive some measure of pride and joy from my achievements.

Despite my valiant efforts and dedicated endeavors, I was still found lacking. It was apparent that no matter what I did, my mother's expectations could never be fulfilled. I was never good enough, and no matter how much I accomplished, it seemed as if I could never exceed the benchmarks of the ideal child.

Despite the disappointment, I remained persistent and maintained a positive attitude. "It's okay...I'll just try harder next time." I reminded myself that effort and hard work are the key to success, and that if I continued to apply myself, I would eventually achieve my goals and find the recognition I so desired.

But before I knew it, three years had passed, yet my relationship with my mother never improved. She had successfully turned her life around and was no longer consumed by sorrow and alcohol. Despite this progress and her newfound hobbies, our relationship remained fractured, and the bond between us had never returned to the loving and cohesive relationship we once shared.

Despite the lingering tensions, my mother's evident happiness brought me great joy as well. While our relationship was still fractured, I was satisfied that she had achieved a level of contentment in life and had moved beyond her grief.

My life had reached a state of contentment and stability. I was quite content with how things were, until my mother introduced a sudden and unexpected entity into the equation, "Y/N meet Naofumi, your newfound brother." The sudden appearance of this new sibling was a radical alteration to the status quo of my life, and I was hesitant to accept the potentially disruptive change this would bring.

As it would happen, my mother ran into Naofumi's parent while performing a rather mundane and ordinary errand, such as purchasing necessities at the grocery store. Somehow, this chance encounter resulted in a love connection that has blossomed into something more serious, as they are contemplating the prospects of tying the knot.

A realization that allowed me to accept the altered dynamics of this new family-unit, was that as long as my mother was satisfied and content, so too would I be. Because my mother's contentment was the sole priority, I chose to view the situation through this lens, and it rendered the situation less troubling and bothersome. In the end, I was content as long as my mother was, because to me, her happiness was ultimately the only thing that really mattered.

However, I came to recognize that the introduction of new additions to our family unit should not affect the relationship with my mother nor the existing balance of our family dynamics. Thus I resolved to maintain my attitude of contentment, assuring myself that our family would continue on as usual despite the additional members. "We will remain the same, just now with two new people added to our family," would be my outlook on the matter.

My optimistic outlook, that the inclusion of new family members would not alter the status quo of our family dynamics, was proven to be utterly mistaken. Many things became disrupted by my mother's remarriage, and I found myself profoundly dissatisfied with the new circumstances. My resentment only grew as I considered the unnecessary nature of this marriage and all the unnecessary disruptions it had brought. "Why did my mother have to marry again?", I would wonder to myself with growing bitterness.

Following the marriage and union of my mother and her new husband, I became a rather insignificant entity. Her attention and priorities shifted to her husband and Naofumi, whom she viewed with a new affection and closeness that she had never before demonstrated toward me. I found myself unable to communicate meaningfully or effectively with my mother, as she had become immersed in her newfound relationship and family, completely ignoring my insignificant presence.

The situation became even more demoralizing and distressing when I recognized that my mother regarded Naofumi as her clear and absolute favorite, lauding him for every little accomplishment he made, while she seemed to discard me in comparison. It hurt to witness my mother lavish Naofumi with praise and affection, while she dismissed my existence as insignificant and irrelevant.

It became evident to me that my mother had a profound bias in favor of Naofumi and I felt ostracized and undervalued. It was not equitable that I, an individual who had consistently tried my best to be there for my mother and understand her, was being cast aside in favor of my "new brother." It was hurtful that my mother couldn't recognize my efforts and acknowledge me, which ultimately led me to question if I was nothing more than disposable detritus.

Now that I considered it, there was indeed a striking similarity between me and my father. Perhaps if I attempted to emulate my mother, maybe I would earn her love and affections again. I considered trying to appear more like her, to mimic her appearance and fashion sense, in the hopes of winning her affection and acceptance.

My hair was blonde, a stark contrast to my mother's black curly locks. I contemplated the notion of dyeing my hair black, in an attempt to mimic my mother, the woman whose affections I yearned for. Just like my father, I had blonde hair, a reminder of my resemblance to one she had dismissed in a previous relationship. Will she accept me if I dyed my hair black like hers?

However, it came to haunt me that perhaps, no matter what I did, I could never meet her expectations. Despite my efforts, I would continue to fall short of my mother's approval and recognition. "I am never enough," would become my mindset as I contemplated my inability to satisfy the one who was supposed to love me unconditionally.