southpark is a close knit community, in which y/n's family has woven their selves into. for better or for worse? depends on the day. a chance to get away from the cold, mountainous, town arises from an invite to tolkien blacks's very own private isl...
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"yeah, he's coming down now." nichole affirms from the other end of the line. "no- wait. he just went back upstairs. it'll be another couple minutes i think." craig has run up and down the stairs now for a third time since i've been on the phone with nichole.
initally, she called me to see how i was doing, but now she's morphed actual conversation to giving me updates on craig's preparation for our trip. i am still unsure how to classify this hangout- a date? a 'get together'? an outing? this leads to a bigger question, on what spectrum of platonic and romantic are me and craig on? there's a lot of mixed signals i get from him.
i think a lot of conversation is transactional with him but occasionally he slips up and mentions something, or reacts a certain way, that he feels he shouldn't because it's too emotionally involved- and then he pulls away. everything is push and pull with him, and if you can't balance his actions with it's equal reaction, he safeguards himself by running away before you can embarrass him.
yet still, i can't help but wish he would subvert his signature conversation tactic and take a risk. keep things simple. romantic or platonic?- pick one, please. or maybe, i shouldn't care and just enjoy it all the same. it works perfectly fine with kyle.
if i can't change him, i can at least change how i view our interactions. and i've officially decided to not care any longer (starting now) which way the pendulum swings- romantic? great. platonic? cool. it's all the same to me!
"so. what are you going to do today?" i feel bad for mostly talking about myself. the majority of what we've talked about has been centered around me and craig- apparently she wasn't aware we were friends, or 'romantically involved'. i wasn't aware of the latter either, but i suppose we had already kissed. i think that's a secret i'll just keep to myself.
"i think i'll go down to the beach. are any of the girls free today? i know you aren't, of course." she suddenly squeals excitedly, "a garden is just so romantic! tell me everything when you get back!" she adds, like that wasn't a given. her mention of the garden again has me race back up to my bedroom to collect my purse, remembering there is an entry fee.
"well wendy's going to clyde's later." i pause to rifle through my drawers for a couple dollars i may or may not have on hand. they probably don't take card there. "bebe said she's too tired to get out of bed, and she 'has to catch up on the summer i turned pretty'. but heidi is free as far as i know!" nichole begins to speak but she immediately interrupts herself to tell me craig is coming back down the stairs. i think she's more excited than i am about this whole thing.
i sit down on my comfortable bed in preparation of another couple stalled minutes.
"good morning, craig." she giggles knowingly to herself. his distinct voice is barely audible through the microphone, "what. what's wrong?" he says flatly. he sounds like he has a perpetual cold- since his voice is nasally and deep at the same time.
