CHAEBEOL | minsung

thirty-six

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹

Seungmin's parents were never unkind, but to say they were loving would be nothing short of a fabrication of the truth. 

They had welcomed a son into the world with beaming smiles and open arms. A boy, a continuation of the bloodline, a reliable heir for their company which spanned numerous decades and countries. If not for the hopes of a son, they probably never would have had kids at all. Passing a young Seungmin off to nurses and maids who would be paid more for their work than I ever will in my life was probably the kindest thing they had ever done. 

Seungmin's childhood was pretty normal for a chaebeol heir. He would make homemade Mother's Day cards that never saw the light of day, he would be ferried round the homes of other students at his prestigious schools in the latest luxury cars, and he would want for nothing. 

He had friends. He had loving parental figures at home, as much as they may not have been his actual parents. He had money, and the world at his fingertips. He was normal. 

And when he'd walked in on Jisung one day, his childhood friend then fourteen and spurned by hormones and angst, hunched over a magazine boasting curvy women and doe eyes- Seungmin had still felt normal. 

Because Jisung had turned to him with a defeated look, shrugged, sighed. Muttered under his breath: 'Doesn't work for me, either, Min. We must just be different.'

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹

The balcony attached to Changbin's bedroom was one of Seungmin's favourite places to be. At sleepovers, they would sit out there and smoke smuggled cigarettes, or drink top-shelf alcohol made secret in an empty Fanta bottle. They would talk for hours, him and his friends, and they would watch the grounds spanning acres behind Changbin's house for just as long. 

Seungmin was thinking about the deer they had seen once, the one with the white bob-tail that had come staggering out of the woods at the edge of the grounds. The deer had walked strangely on one leg, the joints in the middle bending in a direction that Changbin and Jisung both found sickening. It had limped a few steps out of the woods, and then it had died. Just like that- Seungmin was convinced he had seen the spark in its eyes go out, even from their spot up near the top of Changbin's home. 

Changbin and Jisung had comforted each other as they cried. Seungmin had found his eyes drier than they'd ever been. He was thirteen, and it was the first time he had wondered if maybe, he wasn't normal.

His eyes were still dry now, but he felt worse than he did then. 

Smoke curled around his fingers even as Seungmin jumped; a noise at the door had dragged his attention away from the spot on the field where, in his mind's eye, the deer was dying on a loop, over and over, that spark re-igniting and then flickering back out with each blink. 

"I'm fine," Seungmin grumbled under his breath, not looking back at the doorway. "Go back to the party." 

"...Am I supposed to care if you're fine?" 

Seungmin jumped for real this time, turned at lightning speed at the unfamiliar voice. The boy who had ducked out through the doorway of Changbin's bedroom had his nose wrinkled up, a staggering mix of confusion and disgust. Still, he stumbled over to the other side of the balcony, and let himself crumple into the chair that waited for him there. 

"What the fuck are you doing out here? Why were you in Changbin's bedroom?" Seungmin was frowning, but the boy wasn't looking. It was almost like his eyes were glued to that same spot on the field. Like he could see the deer, too. Impossible, right?