𝐌𝐲 𝐳𝐨𝐦𝐛𝐢𝐞

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑 𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐞𝐬

I was running down the sidewalk trying to get to my house before my parents ground me,the coldness hitting my face and hands feeling more numb,i could already hear my parents yelling through the house,my house is probably the only place i hate expect my room,as i open my house door i could already see my mom and dad fighting each other,probably something stupid again,my dad saw me and my mom as well,I didn't want to just stand here and let them lecture me or something,i just wanted to go up to my room and read or listen to music,but nope.
"Look who is finally home,you know we wouldn't even be fighting if you weren't so selfish just to hang out with your shitty friends,I thought i raised you better!"my dad said, "oh shut up Stephen,you are the one to talk,YOU are selfish because you are fucking cheating on me with GUYS,you faggot!! And you don't even think about us!! YOU GAY SHIT!!" My mom said,my parents continued to fight,i just quickly ran up the stairs and shut my room door close to at least get rid of the noise,i went over to my bed and knock myself over while grabbing my headphones blasting music to one of my comforting songs which is "daddy issues by neighborhood" i just stared at my ceiling not even realizing tears started to pour,I flinched since i heard glass breaking and more yelling,its like I can't even feel anything or do anything,but i still try,then all of a sudden i got this panicking rush through my body like it wanted something but didn't know what,i just kept shaking,i needed to feel something then i saw my pencil sharpener,i took the blade out and pulled down my sleeves,I began to put the blade against my skin and started to make cuts,letting the blood go all over my arm,as I kept going,I realized what i did and stopped but it felt nice,i hide the blade under my bed and went to find some dirty clothes to clean my bloody arm,as I finished I listened to more music while i pulled my blanket over my body just wanting to sleep everything off,or i should also take a walk since i needed fresh air and escape this house,i putted on some baggy pants and just a scarf,converse since I already have my sweater,I opened my window and climb down as landed on the ground I started walking,the way the wind brushes through me while it gently blows my hair making my body feel numb and my mind as well,taking all my feelings and problems,i love how nature is really unique makes me feel like i belong there instead of my own house,until i saw something orange,thats when I realized it was kenny smoking,i wonder what he is doing here,maybe i should sit with him,as i kept walking over to him,he realizes i was there and just awkwardly smiles.
"Oh butters??,what are you doing here?" He asks,i just sat down with him, "i just needed fresh air since my parents are kinda annoying me"i say while looking at the sky, "oh,do you wanna talk about it?" He says,while i look at him with wide eyes, "what do you mean,im alright"i say, "butters its okay,if you are going through something,you could talk to me,i can see it in your eyes and i know the definition of 'my parents are kinda annoying me' i use that a lot."he said while looking at me with pure guilt and worried,i felt bad that I worried him. "Are you sure?.." i said while looking down not even realizing my tears were coming down. "Im sure." He says while wiping my tears with his thumb while gently smiling, "well every since my dad started to cheat on my mom,they started to fight a lot but my mom won't leave him and I don't know why which thats why it hurts but now i always argue with my dad and it gets worse and worse,it makes it seem like he doesn't love me and he even said it himself,my mom doesn't even do anything to stop the abuse that me and my dad do,then there is school which stresses me because of you know how i get insults a lot then after that my uncle came along it got so worse,because he would come in my room at night whenever my parents are sleeping that I stopped talking at school after he... he...." I started to breakdown while trying to speak to kenny,he hugs me while i try to speak again,i think im having another panic attack,kenny is probably scared. "Butters?butters?!,please take deep breaths and calm your body,take it a step.."he says while holding my chest and hand while i try to listen to him,as i take deep breaths,kenny slowly starts to pull me in a hug, "thats it,you did it,its okay im here now.."he says while i just sob softly,kenny lets go and saw blood on my sleeves and I quickly pull my arms and hide them,while he just looks at me stunned,shit what have i done... "butters...."he says looking at me with those eyes, "im sorry.."i say,he then pulls my arms back while i beg him not to,until he pulls my sleeves and just stared at them. "Why?!.."he says trying not to cry. "I..I don't know."i say while trying to hold in my tears,he then pulls me into a hug,hoping that maybe i can let it all out and try to stop what im doing at least but I can't,its like on repeat,i wake up,i cut,i go to the bathroom,i cut,i go to sleep,i cut. "Why haven't you said anything?.."he says while holding my hands and gently smoothes my scars,im glad he is with me, "because i felt like a burden and i knew I wasn't gonna get help by this town so i just hold it in and try to through the days without you know.."i say,while he just looks at me with worried and sick but then the most surprising thing he did was 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐬,my eyes wide open and i could feel heat through my cheeks,the way his lips gently presses against my skin and leaves love of warmth hoping that maybe his love can cure my problems,they may not cure but his love is enough for me and it will always be,does that mean i love him?,it's probably nothing,but the way his eyes are full with love and kindness to me just hits my body like a electric, "im sorry im not enough but i will always be here for you butters"he says while holding my hand, "you will always be enough to me kenny."i say while smiling at him,he then hugged me making sure that he is here for me and im glad he is which i felt safer with him than anyone,i just hope he doesn't leave me because he somehow heal me a little.