The Space Spinster (on HOLD)

Log 13. Jerk!

Time Stamp: 12th of the 4th month, year 2696 CE, 08:00

Location Stamp: Space cruiseliner Solar Wind, home port Mars, owned by the Stellar Cruises Inc., in orbit around planet Jupiter, Solar System, Milky Way Galaxy

***

"Why, isn't it obvious what I'm doing? I'm helping the star-crossed lovers," Mikado said and wiped an imaginary tear. "Though judging by your file, you wouldn't understand such sentiment."

"I'm asexual, not heartless."

The infuriating man cocked one brow.

Heat rushed into my cheeks. "You, from all people, should relate!"

For a second, he frowned, then smiled faintly. From him, it counted as a boyish grin. "Your implication is that I'm a sterile Venusian?"

Okay, maybe this was a low blow, but I wasn't going to apologize. Too bad I couldn't cross my arms at my chest... and whose fault was that?

"Sterile we may be, Ms. Gorelko, but the Corporate labs precisely tune our sex drive as a part of the reward system in a fully obedient workforce. There are fascinating articles on it, if you're interested."

"Uh-huh. Spoken like a certified romantic."

"I don't need to be as starry-eyed as our two young cha'na to be fascinated by them. They broke with the longstanding traditions of their society. As a non-conformist myself, I deeply sympathize."

Mikado's face was unreadable, yet the war made me immune to earnest people putting a positive spin on hogwash.

"Right." I rolled my eyes heavenward. The overhead light in the infirmary was a poor substitute for sky, but in a pinch... "Thank the stars I've finally met the only selfless being in the system!"

"You're a tough nut to crack." Mikado bent over the medical equipment's controls. If he was human, I'd guess he was hiding another smile.

"Guilty as charged." I wished I could at least sit up. Alas, I still couldn't move from neck down. Mikado's fiddling with the dials induced a tingling sensation in my lower limbs, so maybe by tomorrow? "Does your fee depend on the outcome of the epic charade, Mikado? The happier the two young lovers are, the more Var'Rar pays you?"

"So young, yet so cynical! Typical Martian blood."

"Do you have to practice being this aggravating, or were you just born with it?"

"Bred, Miss Gorelko. I'm a Venusian as you've aptly pointed out, therefore I was bred."

"Fine, you were bred to be aggravating. Happy now?"

"Ecstatic." He looked no less blank than usual.

"With this out of the way, stop treating me like a moron, Mikado. A person doesn't need ten doctoral degrees to figure out you'd modified those variels' bludgeons."

His murky eyes narrowed to slits when I knocked down the PhDs. Finally! I touched a nerve! "Come on, Mikado. If your kick-back covers the lifetime network access, just pay me blood money, and we'll be even."

"The sheer purity of your pigheadedness is astounding." Mikado closed his fingers on my IV's valve. "Let's test its limits. Do you still believe I intend to murder you?"

I glared in response, desperately trying to lift my arm. "I'll fight you to the last breath!"

"Oh, how you tempt me, Ms. Gorelko. How you tempt me!" He opened the valve.

Something hissed, dripped, and my eyelids grew heavy. I was in no state to get what I wanted, but if he hadn't poisoned me, I would. Later.

My jaws stretched in a yawn, and Mikado's voice drifted from afar, distorted, echoing. "Sweet dreams."

Okay, the retribution would have to come much later. I'd beat the truth out of him... and a wee percentage. With this comforting thought, the blackness of the cosmos devoured me.

***

When it released me, Mikado was gone, and Dr. Ross paced the infirmary instead.

"Welcome back!" he exclaimed. "Can you stand?"

Weirdly, I did. Nothing hurt, but my throat was drier than three-hundred-year-old rations.

"What... what day is it?"

"Twelfth of the fourth," Ross replied. "I wanted to see if you are ambulatory, or if we'd need to transport you to the cryo bay. Most of your colleagues are already under."

I stumbled forward. Out for almost a month! "Nope. You don't need a gurney."

"Incredible!" Dr. Ross shook his head in wonder. "Mikado predicted you'd make a full recovery before he went into stasis, but I had to see you jump out of bed with my own eyes to believe it. The man is a genius!"

The man landed me in the infirmary for a month, unconscious!

I blinked, trying to make my brain work faster. So, Mikado was already in stasis for the journey home, along with all other non-essential personnel. I was supposed to do the same or risk terrible gravitational sickness. At the docks, Mars personnel would clear the passengers and the crew, keeping everyone separated. Hence, Mikado made sure our roads would never cross again under the guise of caring for my health.

"He's a genius, alright," I muttered through clenched teeth, and lurched forward. Right foot, then left foot, one in front of the other... and I made it to the lift, while Dr. Ross still clucked about Mikado behind my back.

"Doctor, I can take it from here," I said, and he stopped following me. But anyway, I kept my expression neutral and my pulse even, until I located my cryo pod and activated the biometric scan.

Then, in the empty bay full of gleaming cold metal and sleeping people, I let out a scream.

Mikado got away with fleecing the cha'na. He would fly free into the sunset, while I... I was going to sleep for another month, then eat his exhaust and pray that his karma lay in wait somewhere on the Milky Way. That it would bite him in the ass.

Of course, I wasn't sleepy at all, and I had a security clearance, so I could find his pod and help karma a little.

Fifteen minutes later, and with my heart much lighter, I stretched in my pod and sighed. "Vera Gorelko, reporting for a timeout. Again."

A new message blinked on the comm's interface, pushing down cheesy get-well cards from Lola and a corporate letter about benefits' claim initiated on my behalf by Otto Shamil.

"Play."

Ms. Gorelko, Mikado's voice poured into my ear. This message will find you as soon as you enter the pod. I hope the timeout would serve to calm your frazzled nerves.

"Stop replay."

The remind me later option was invented to dismiss patronizing bullshit like this. There was no reason for me not to delete Mikado's message outright, particularly after I'd just scribbled JERK on his frosty forehead.

Seriously, why did I keep it? Certainly, I wasn't stupid enough to hope he'd prove me wrong.