I'll kiss your lips again (Frerard)

Chapter 10

We're putting you on Prozac, frank.

"Wha- why? We? Who's we?"

"Me and the psychiatrist. It's what's best for you."

"What? It's not fucking best for me. What are you talking about? That's not going to do shit.
"There is no way I'm taking it. No way."

She doesn't respond.

"I'm leaving!"

I stand up, red-faced and shaking, my fists at my sides.
I bite my lip and the lip ring digs into the soft flesh of my moth, causing me to taste blood.

I glare at the box, trying to pretend that it's not there, that it never existed.

Maybe if i stare at it long enough it will disappear.

But it doesn't, and panic rises in my chest. I know what's coming next. I bolt to the door as if I'm being chased by a murderer and i slip through the narrow space, running to my refuge, the basement. The only place i can get away from everyone.

I run through the hallway, past the noticeboard, making the papers on there ruffle in the passing breeze.
I run though an old wooden door, inhaling the familiar scent. of wood and dampness.

My feet skid down small steps the dark blue colour of hospitals and i turn left, to my room.

One empty room, containing nothing but a piano a table and a chair. The windows are bolted shut, as if the room is trying to trap me.

The room is neglected, like my mind; The walls are bare and the paint is peeling off.
I sit under the bare table, just the right size for me to sit under.

I plug in my headphones, I find my playlist. I play 'Asleep' by the Smiths.

The music reaches my ears and i fall back against the wall, my arms wrapped around my knees, pulled tightly up to my chest.

My whole body falls limp against the hard wall and i begin to shudder violently, my body and fingertips shaking uncontrollably. My breaths come out heavy and fast, racking my chest. I can hear them.

One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
Keep breathing.

The tears come, by bottom lip quivering and single tears dripping off the ends of my eyelashes.
My vision becomes blurry because of my rapid breathing, the room becomes white and grainy, making me feel like i'm not real.

I put my hands on either side of me for balance, fingers splayed out and slightly bent.
I close my eyes and count to five and then open them, but it doesn't work. All i see is white. Blinding white.

I can't breathe. It hurts to breathe.

But i have to. I have to force my chest to rise and fall. I have to count my breaths, I have to wait for this to stop.

I breathe heavily for what seems like forever, I grab my head and pull my ugly hair, hard.
It hurts. Good.

I feel like I'm drowning.

I eventually collapse onto the floor, my limbs folding beneath me and my headache getting too much. I feel a lightning strike go through my head, and then nothing, just black.

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