"ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴛʀʏ ꜱᴜɪᴄɪᴅᴇ" A true story

Chapter 1- Fever

I awoke with a jolt and ran to the bathroom somewhere from late night to early morning.

I vomited in the toilet and quietly walked downstairs to tell my mom.

I was 11 at the time and I went into my moms room.

"Mom i threw up" I said quietly. "Okay bud, go back to bed" my mom said tiredly. I walked back upstairs and fell asleep.

The next morning my mom let me stay home from school.

I had a horrible stomach ache and headache. I was lying in bed.

As the days went by and I never seemed to get better, the school play was soon and I really didn't want to miss it.

"You can't be in the play, sorry bud" my mom said as I was curled up in a ball on the couch.

I began thinking about all the bullying that had happened earlier that week.

I had considered suicide because of trauma and other personal issues, and i would self harm. I then started considering suicide even more seriously then I usually had.

My mom took me to a doctors office and they tested me for the flu and Covid. The results came back positive for both.

I was miserable and felt lonely because i couldn't see my friends or even look at a screen to text them.

I started distancing myself from everyone and didn't even bother to get up or eat anymore.

The next day I put my hands around my neck and held my breath (it was stupid, I know. I was 11.).

My mom walked in and made me tell my therapist. I talked to her about it and she told my mom that I should be taken to Crisis and admitted in-patient.

I argued with my mother that I don't need to go and that I'm fine.

My mom said she was taking me tomorrow morning and took my sewing needle, scissors, found the knife I had in the drawer, etc. Then walked downstairs to her room.