Welcome to Avonlea

Chapter 13

I stared at the ground walking next to Marilla. Anne wanted me to walk with her but I refused when she tried saying how he was now a kindred spirit. I needed to make sure she didn't get close and say anything insensitive that would make him angry while grieving. When they lowered the casket in the ground. I just stared. He was such a kind man the first time I met him and the few after. Meeting and getting to have even the smallest conversation, it would be something I'd never forget. Someone that's kind and a loving father shouldn't of passed so young. "Let not be your heart troubled. Ye believe on God, believe also in me. In my father's house are many mansions. If it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself... for where I am, there ye may be also." I stared for a while longer until Marilla and Matthew moved me along towards the house.

I stared at the home I was coming to for the last month and didn't dare step inside. Moving on the porch, I found a place to sit as others came to pay their respects. I watched from my place as Gilbert stayed by his family graveyard. He was the only one there. I gave it some time before going to see if he wanted to talk or just to have someone there and have some comfort so he wasn't alone. "I'm sorry, Gilbert." I looked at the grave. "When I first met him when I brought your books. He was very kind and I could see he loved you very much." "You're not going to say anything else?" "Like what?" "That we're the same now." "No. No one should ever have to experience this. I know that I may not understand but... if you ever want to talk. Whenever you want to... I'll be there and you can talk about whatever you please and I'll listen." He looked at me for a moment then back to his father's grave. "Thank you." "You don't need to thank me. I'm your friend even if you don't think so." He glanced at me again then looked away.

"Gilbert!" I turned and saw Anne coming over. "It was a lovely service. It seemed fitting somehow. Everything was so white and still." She stopped next to me. "Remember what I said." I told her quietly. She looked at me then back to Gilbert. "I've always thought the Minister prays quite mournfully, so this suited him nicely. Baptisms must be grim. Being an orphan has it's challenges." "Anne." "But you already have so many advantages, you'll be much better off than we are." "Stop it." I grabbed her arm. "We didn't know our parents. They died while we were babies, so we couldn't fend for ourselves like you can." I gripped tighter moving her away a bit. "Stop." "It's fine." "No, it's not." "But we don't remember our parents. He'll be able to remember his father. If you think about it, he's lucky." "Anne." "You think I'm lucky." I lowered my head with my eyes closed. "Why can't you keep your mouth shut at times?" She moved so she could see him. "But... compared to us, yes." "And why would this be about either of you?" "It's not. I was just trying-"  "See you."

I looked to see Gilbert leaving. "I was just-" "No. Anne. You weren't just anything. You were comparing our situation to his. Yes, he has memories of having his father. But he needs time. We were babies and didn't have to grieve like he is. Look." I pointed at the fresh grave. "What do you see?" "His father's grave." "Yes. His father's grave. He shouldn't have to go through like this so young. His father didn't get the chance to see Gilbert take exams to go to college, to graduate, to marry, see his first grandchild. Gilbert will never get to see the look on his father's face for any of those wonderful times. He needs time to grieve that his father is gone. He was the only one here during the burial if you didn't notice. He is alone and just needs someone who can just be there even if it's only in silence. Can you just, please, for once think before you speak." "I only wanted to help." "I know. But you went too far by saying he's lucky, because right now, he doesn't think so. It will take him however long it takes when he can share what his father was like, the things they've done and seen. But not now. Do you understand me?" She looked to where he walked off then to me looking remorseful. "Can we go to the clubhouse?" I stared at her and nodded.