Rekindling the Lost Affection- Haerin/Wonyoung x Reader

Chapter 6- Haerin's Decision (Updated)

Haerin POV

     Making my way back to the dorm, I reflected on Min Hee-jin's words. Or rather, I was forced to. No matter what I did, her icy voice kept ringing in my ear.

     "You're being greedy... you're being greedy...," the voice whispered in my ear, like background noise I couldn't get rid of.

     "Shut up!" I screamed in an unusually loud outburst. I felt my knees give out as my legs hit the pavement. The shock and pain of hitting the ground finally quieted the voice. My mind felt clearer, but my vision remained blurry. I reached up to rub my eyes and restore my vision, but as I touched my face, I felt a wet sensation. It was only then I realized I was crying.

     "Am I asking for too much?" questioning no one in particular as I looked up to the sky. The moon and the stars in the sky were distorted by my tears, making them seem brighter. I knew that I was extremely lucky to have been given the chance to become an idol, especially under a company like ADOR and HYBE. Many girls my age would die for an opportunity like this, but I did not envy the situation I was in.

     I sat down by a bench and thought for a while. Y/n was smart, talented, and handsome. But before all of that, he was kind. He wouldn't have trouble getting another girlfriend, and Min Hee-jin was right. Realistically, it didn't make sense for me to chain him down for seven years, and doing so would be pretty selfish.

     Tired from everything, I decided to push my thoughts away and think about this later.

2 Weeks Later 

     As NewJeans prepared to debut, I had less and less time to meet with Y/n, as every day was a flurry of vocal training and dance practice. I left the bright, modern ADOR building at 11 pm every day, exhausted after dancing to Hype Boy and Attention for hours non-stop. Filming the MVs for these songs was even worse. I could feel the directors and producers losing patience with me with each failed recording as I struggled to make the correct facial expressions. Although Danielle, the only person keeping me sane while recording, was there to help me and even offered to teach me, I just wasn't naturally expressive. I felt bad for all the trouble I was causing. Even worse, after being disrespectful to Min Hee-jin, I was scared of the prospect of ADOR debuting NewJeans as a group of four without me, despite the unnies and Hyein promising me that would never happen.

     As a result, although y/n remained in the back of my mind, my priorities had shifted from spending time with him to getting enough sleep to survive the next day of preparing to debut.

     Each night as I fell asleep, I told myself that I would find time and make plans with y/n the following day, but it seemed like there just weren't enough hours in the day. During this time, Min Hee-jin also continued to ask about our relationship and urged me to break up with him.

     At the start, I refused her demands, trying to stand my ground. To maintain our relationship, I called y/n each night for 15 minutes, but by the end of the first week, the time had shrunk to 5 minutes. Before I knew it, I had gone multiple days without contacting him.

     I felt guilty. Y/n had always made time for me in the past, no matter how busy he was. My feelings accumulated, and I spontaneously decided to call y/n at 2 am one morning just to check up on him. Surprisingly, he picked up.

     "Hi, sorry for not calling much recently. I've been super busy... I'm really sorry y/n," I apologized.

     "It's fine, Kitty," y/n had replied. I always liked it when he called me that, but today, it seemed so sad. He continued, "It's 2 am; make sure you get some sleep. You can call me again when you have more time." He sounded tired.

     "Thank you," I said gratefully, "I'll talk to you soon."

       Right as I was about to hang up, I heard him mumble "I miss you" wistfully. He sounded so lonely.

      I wasn't sure how to respond, so I didn't say anything. As silence fell between me and y/n, I chose to hang up, pretending I didn't hear him say anything. As I lay down on my bed to get some rest before morning, I was bombarded by internal thoughts. At first, I felt relieved that Y/n did not seem to be mad at me, but after hearing his lonely voice, I realized that I couldn't be there for him when he needed it.

     "Y/n deserves someone better than me- someone who can be by his side every day when he needs it," I eventually decided to myself after thinking about it for two hours straight. Although I was quiet and introverted, I wasn't ignorant of other peoples' feelings. "Maybe breaking up is the best option. I'm hurting him in ways I don't even realize by keeping him in this relationship with me," I admitted to myself.

     All of a sudden, Min Hee-jin's words began to resurface in my head. This time, instead of pushing them away, I accepted them. She was right. I had been greedy, but I still had a chance to make things right before they got out of hand. 

     I cried into my pillow as I realized what I needed to do. I swore to myself that tomorrow, I would put an end to my selfishness and put Y/n before myself. I would let Y/n go.

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A/N: Bigger changes to this chapter because of problems with continuity. Hope it was an enjoyable read!