Star Wars Jedi: The Haunting

Chapter 1

It had been 2 and a half years since Bode's death, and Cal was only feeling worse.

His whole life, he had tried to make a stand against the Empire. He had slain the Ninth Sister, he killed countless troops, he worked under Saw Gerrera for years, and he even took down a whole Imperial base by himself. Yet in the grand scheme of things he hadn't even made a dent. The Empire had only grown stronger.

And he was only getting weaker. There were millions upon millions of Empire personnel and only one of him. Greez was right; it was a rigged game. And the odds were not in his favor.

But Cal's mentors had bravely sacrificed themselves fighting the Empire. His master. The Jedi Order. Everyone he lost. They all died because of the Empire. And he would never forget that.

He couldn't just give up the fight because the odds were against him. He had to keep trying, because, as Jaro Tapal had told him when he died, "This war is not over, my padawan." And the Empire had only grown stronger since Tapal's death. The war was still not over. And he had to win. It was what Jaro Tapal would have wanted. Tapal wouldn't like it if Cal backed away from the war and started a family. He hadn't taught Cal to be a parent; he had taught Cal how to fight.

Tapal had also said that persistence revealed the path. If he was just persistent, surely he could win eventually. Get some allies, train them, collapse the Empire, and bring peace to the galaxy.

Only it wasn't that simple.

It was an ongoing battle in his head. Sometimes it felt like his life, and cause, were completely worthless. He'd fought for too long and accomplished too little. He'd made some difficult decisions over the years, some of which he was coming to regret now. He'd lost many people close to him, some of whom he now felt he could've saved. He used to have a purpose in life, but now he just felt lost. His desire to fight the Empire had split up the Mantis crew some years ago. Now they were together again, but... it wasn't the same anymore. They thought he was losing his way. They thought he had changed.

And Cal hated to admit it, but they were right.

He had changed.

He wasn't the same Cal who had bravely ventured to Bogano to grab the holocron from Trilla. He wasn't the same Cal who had made a stand against one of the most dangerous Sith Lords of all time. He wasn't the same Cal who had been so eager to help the hidden path. He wasn't the same Cal who had passionately made love with Merrin on Jeddah.

He didn't even know who he was anymore.

A few years ago, he'd had a chat with Greez, who said he needed to find a home, settle down, and start a family. Well, he'd done it. He'd finally found somewhere away from the Empire. Somewhere where he could settle down in peace. Start a family, like Greez said.

Only he was a terrible father.

It seemed like nothing could go his way. His quest to rebuild the Jedi Order had ended with the Holocron destroyed, and the force-sensitive children left roaming the galaxy alone. In other words, it was a failure. His quest to train the hidden path on Tanalorr had ended with him realizing Bode was right. The Hidden Path were a bunch of strangers. Their safety was not his business, but it would become his business if he led them all to Tanalorr. And it wasn't like Tanalorr was completely unreachable; the Nihil invaders had managed to reach it, all those years ago.

If anything happened to them when they were on Tanalorr, Cal would feel responsible. And that was a level of responsibility that he wasn't prepared to handle.

In other words, the Hidden Path was a failure, too.

And Cal Kestis was sick of failing.

He sighed and started pacing up and down to try to calm his thoughts. His thoughts, which were like a heavy weight on his consciousness, threatened to break him at any given moment. Cal didn't want to admit it, but fighting the Empire for years had tired and weakened him physically and mentally. He wanted to think of himself as strong, but he knew that he could only take so much before he broke.