the notes you wrote before you died

11th Note

     "It comes to me that whenever I poke someone, and I wish and wish that they poke me back, but if "IF" they even did poke me back. I can't bear the shame I will feel inside of myself. I cant be loveable and i feel like I can't love anyone. I want to be loved but do I like the feeling of it? Can be okay with being a boyfriend or a husband? No I wont. I cant find love. Why does that shit happen to me. I poke someone but when they say that poke me back, I can't just say "let's be in a relationship!" I hate communicating and talking and just loving. I hate doing all those things that involve love and appreciation. It doesn't sound right to me anymore. I don't suddenly get that feeling of having butterflies in my stomach when someone confesses their love to me. But who would poke me, I feel like their either making fun of me and their confused on how to live and love so they just pick anyone they see. I used to be happy. Why aren't I anymore?"

Tyler used (used) to say 'poke' instead of like. He didn't poke the word. But for some reason he used 'love'

I say poke