Cirque

12: 𝑪𝒊𝒓𝒄𝒖𝒔 𝑸𝒖𝒆𝒆𝒏

The golden rays of light were warm against my face like the spotlight on stage. It filled Oleander's hair, illuminating it like a halo. For one moment, it was just the two of us, staring into each other's eyes, our breathing in sync. And then, a voice cut through the air.

"This final show belongs to you, mon cheri. You are the performer, the audience, the inspiration and the reason. Are you ready to begin...are you ready to belong to me?"

It was the voice that could make puppets dance and make clowns cry, that filled a man with fear and a child with wonder. It was none other than Le Meneur himself.

I blinked. I realized to my horror that the rays of sun on us were indeed the warm blinding lights of the stage. Through another despicable magic trick, I had found myself in an incredibly embarrassing position with Oleander...right in the center of the stage. I could give that ringleader another push right about now.

We were right in the spotlight, me lying on the floor with Oleander right on top of me. How was I going to explain this to Carlos?

Oleander smirked, any trace of what had been there before wiped away faster than the flowers in a spring storm. "You're so naive it's pathetic," he whispered right in my ear. I glared at him, blushing in embarrassment. I should have remembered that he was an excellent performer, and that that tear had surely been faker than my mum's 'luxury' handbag.

Oleander stood up and slipped away out of sight. I supposed he must not be bothered by being dropped right on the stage in only his dressing robe. Maybe he was used to it living in a place like this.

Blinking my eyes in the bright lights, I slowly stood up as well, and was immediately swept into the arms of Le Meneur, who dropped me into a low dip. I gasped, looking up at his masked, smiling face, my loose hair nearly brushing against the floor of the stage.

"It's been too long, mon cherie," he smiled, speaking so only I could hear. "Shall we try this again? The sun's golden rays are just enveloping us as we speak."

"What happens when the sun rises?" I asked. It seemed there was something important no one was telling me.

"Did you not learn a thing from your little escapade?" he laughed in a sing-song voice, not really answering my question. He spun me back up on my feet and I finally got a good view of what had become of the big top since I had left. Instead of the crowd of joyful onlookers there had been before, including my best friend in the whole world, there was now a crowd of jack-in-the-boxes ominously bouncing up and down, over and over again, in perfect synchronicity.

There was Karl, rolling across the stage on a black-and-white checkered ball, a garish smile on his painted face, alive once more. Griffin watched me from across the stage with fierce eyes, a semi-circle of tigers surrounding him, held in place by a single, raised, muscular arm. Oleander burst out of the ceiling on a trapeze, wearing tights embroidered with blue-and-purple flowers, an excellently quick costume change.

Le Meneur's intoxicating voice whispered against my ear. "You belong here. You already made your choice when you accepted my invitation."

I turned around, glaring at him. "You lied, didn't you? It never mattered what I chose, did it? You manipulative freak!"

"I prefer esoteric mastermind, personally," he smiled. "Oh don't be mad, dear. It made quite the spectacle, and spectacle is the reason I live."

I stood hand-in-hand with Le Meneur, watching as more and more performers whirled across the stage, turning into an avalanche of glitter, colors, and pies thrown from face to face. It was hilarious, it was wonderful, it was terrifying and it was beautiful. And Helena was right, I felt like I was home.

I felt a hand slide around my waist, and I didn't push it away. "Don't you want this, mon cherie? It's only your stubbornness holding them here, trapping them in those ridiculous bouncing bodies. Let them go, back to the mundane world outside. You are meant for more. You are meant...for me."

I swiveled my head around. He was there, his face so close if I leaned just a bit closer our lips would touch. I looked into his two eyes and I saw a whole new life. I saw impossible dreams and inexplicable possibilities, all coming true under the glorious red tent. My real life was a small price to pay when I would receive these endless days of laughter and song, bubblegum balloons and cotton candy dreams. I saw myself on a golden throne of molten unicycles, a top hat instead of a crown: the circus queen.

"Are you ready?" Le Meneur said softly. "Either way, you belong to me."

I hesitated, and glanced away, where I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Griffin was watching me, and I saw pure anger burning in his eyes. I had never seen such explicit rage, like if someone took heartbreak, covered it in oil, and threw it into a volcano.

I turned back to Le Meneur, his sweet smile as convincing as a lover's lie, his gloved hands smooth white shackles around my wrists. I clenched my fists. Okay, sure, I had kind of fallen right into his trap, like a girl falling right into the comforting embrace of a bouncy castle. But if he thought I was going to just smile and accept it like a fairy tale princess, waiting for my prince to save me from the evil enchanter, he had no idea who I was. An idea popped into my head, an idea so ridiculous it could never work. It was the sort of thing that only worked in dreams, but here I might just have a chance.

"Tempting," I told him, a smirk resting on my face, our faces so close together I could feel his breath. "But I already told you, I chose the third option."

I jumped out of his arms, a skip in my step. I ran to the center of the stage, twirling around as the spotlight fell on me. Everyone's eyes fell on me, from the ringleader to the clowns to the wooden eyes in the crowd. I grinned, suddenly I felt alive. "I accept your invitation, Le Meneur, that's true, but you're not the only one who can put on a show." I put my hands on my hips as fire breathers blew torches behind me, illuminating my brown hair in a fiery red glow. "I'm the Circus Queen, and I'm going to save you all. Try and make me belong to you, mister, because you're not the first weirdo stalker I've dealt with. You made a mistake choosing me, because you're going down."

I laid down my challenge with a bang, confetti bursting from the ceiling. Le Meneur stared at me, and I expected some burst of rage or confusement, but the only thing dripping from his eyes was pure, intense, all-consuming...desire. "Oh," he said quietly, each word caressing me harder than his kisses, "I like you."

As soon as he spoke, the crowd shifted right before my eyes, springs turning to legs, and expressionless wooden faces transforming into human bewilderment.

There, watching me, calling out to me, his arms stretched out...was Carlos. Carlos, the best friend I had ever had. I could hear him screaming my name as the morning sun washed the carnival tent with its illuminating glow, reminding me of continuing stories and tragic endings. I hadn't noticed, but Griffin had joined me, watching the crowd scramble for the exit from the center of the stage.

"Ready to find out our secret?" he said in a dark voice, filled with regret and something else.

Carlos was running down the rows of seats, I could see a smile already beginning to blossom beneath his charcoal curls. I reached out to him, but then I noticed something terrible. My hand was beginning to grow clear and transparent, just like I was in another dream. But this couldn't possibly be a dream, not if Carlos was there with that familiar grin.

"Cass! Let's get out of here!" He shouted, sounding more excited than he did that day we stayed up until midnight hunting for moths when we should have been studying for our math test.

But, when he reached out to take my hand like he had always done, mine slipped right through his, like I was only a figment of his imagination. His smile turned to fear, as infinite as I had felt all the way back at the beginning when I had first begun to realize just how wrong this circus was.

I felt my blood turn cold. Tears began to stream from my face like faucets of starlight, and I tried my hardest to hold onto Carlos, but I simply couldn't touch him. I felt Griffin's strong arms holding me back, even though I tried to pull away.

"That's the damn truth of the Circus of Death," Griffin said shortly, his voice filled with deep anger. "You can't ever be with him again, because he's alive and here, when the sun rises...we're all dead."