ACROSS THE PACIFIC

Chapter 12*Guilt*

Sierra
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Everyday is a battle between myself and my past, the past never leaves no matter how much you try to forget, it always finds it's way to come back to your memories. Unable to cry, unable to scream out loud, the only way I can let all the anger built inside me is to fight and kill my way out of this little cage I'm trapped in. All I have to do is swallow the heavy lamp in my throat and continue being the person I've become. I was never given a choice because in this business it's either you kill or be killed.

After everything that has happened to me you'd think I'd rather be killed so I could set myself free but you're wrong I'm a fighter and I'm a survivor and no pain we'll ever bring me down. Every sleepless night just gives me the power to get up and dominate. I'm scared if I shut my eyes it'll all come back flashing right Infront of me, the longest I've ever sleep is 2 hours while others get to sleep for about 8 eight hours, how unfair right? Oh well it is what it is.

You need therapy...

Oh shut up I'm fine.

No you're not you psycho. Just admit that you need it besides you used to go for therapy.

"Arrgh!" I yelled in frustration.

I'm going back to therapy...

I got out of bed after many ours of staring at the ceiling and having a mental break down I decided to take a hot shower. I walked into the bathroom brushed my teeth did my skin care routine before my stomach began to grumble.

Shit I haven't eaten anything since yesterday in the fucking morning.

I got out of the bedroom and made my way downstairs, I came to a halt and decided to check up on my baby. I slowly opened the door and looked around the room but there was no sign of him and the bed was already made.

"Andre?" I called out but their was no response. I decided to knock on the bathroom room door but again there was no response, I opened it and he wasn't there.

I swear if they laid a finger on him, all hell will break lose....

I hurriedly jogged downstairs but then I heard loud chants. oh for fuck sake!

"No way! That was a freaking goal!" Andre's voice yelled. "Madrid's the best! We takin the win." He continued.
I let out an exasperated sigh and continued to walk downstairs. Andre's obsessed with football and especially Hala Madrid FC, he's got me buying him merch all the damn time! Whenever it's a new season.

"Most definitely." Adonis's voice pitched in.

"Good morning, mommy!" Andre greeted me, he looked at me for a second and then looked back at the TV.

"Mm, so watching football is more important than giving your mommy a good morning hug and a kiss?" I asked folding my hands on my chest.

"Mommy, you know I love you more than anything. I was planning to give you a hug but then I can't remove my eyes from the TV or else I miss it." He said. I narrowed my eyes at him and he eventually stood up and hugged my torso.

"Good morning, mommy dearest." He greeted me once again with a cheeky grin.

"Good morning to you too sweetheart how was your night?" I asked.

"It was awesome, but now I have to get back to the game, wanna join?" He offered.

"No I'm good." I said and looked over at Adonis who was already looking at me.

"Alright I love you bye!" He said all in one breath and kissed my cheek and I did the same.

"I'll be in the kitchen making breakfast," I said. "Oh and no breakfast until you freshen up!" I continued and with that I turned around and made my to the kitchen.