NOT ALL MEN ARE TRASH

~EIGHT~

I wake up in the pool of my own blood, my body aches, my thighs burn, I feel light.

“Oh God!” I mutter, I look down at myself.

“Genevieve not again” I'm disappointed in myself. It took me years of determination to stop self harming now I'm back, I was my own therapist, I shared it with no one and still overcame it.

I check my phone for the time, I'm already late for church.

I help myself up, I clean the blood on the floor before tending to my burnt thigh and bleeding arms.

I take a cold shower to help me stop the bleeding and to loosen my tight muscles.

As I get dressed up my phone's notification goes off, I'm not even hungry now.

George ❤️

Good morning sister. How are you?

I smile at his text.

I'm fine. How are you doing? 

He replies quickly.

George ❤️

I'm fine. Mummy is fine too. We're in church now. Thank you so much sister. I will visit you one day.

Me

I can't wait for that day! Pray for me.

I purposely didn't ask about my mother, she doesn't deserve my concern not one bit of it even though I can't help it because she's my mother I feel that bond with her. We suffer from the hands of the same person, we cry together sometimes.

I put down my phone and head to my kitchen to search for food. I'm hungry already. My thigh burns but I ignore the pain.

It is too late for me to prepare akara so I make noodles with fried egg, just the way I like. I soak beans so I can make moi moi for dinner.

My phone notification goes off again, I check it and it's Lara.

She sent a picture of her at a party with the caption you got an invite girl! You're supposed to be here😞.

I chuckle and reply her.

Have fun without this boring youth.

I dumb my phone and focus on the article I started writing yesterday. I'm to turn it in this week and I'm yet to be done, I've been distracted by all the events of the weekend.

Moving out of my childhood house was the best decision I ever made. I moved out to an apartment close to my parents house but it was no use.

I enjoyed living alone but, I would randomly run into my parents in town. After an incident when my daddy came to my house looking for me because he felt I had no right to move out of his house I decided to move out of the town, the main reason he felt so was because the church members kept asking why I moved out and his reputation was tarnishing.

That decision is a decision I'm grateful for till today. Growing up in my house was toxic, I lost my sanity, an abusive father, a scared mother.

My mummy was always siding with my daddy for reasons best known to her. I felt pity for her at first but with time as i grew up i got annoyed. She would make excuses for him anytime he beat me up instead of standing up for me, defending her daughter. She would say “he's your father he can never do anything that would hurt you, he loves you and he just has a different way of showing it”

I remember one time, I was eleven, I ran out of the house crying, she ran after me, “she's being dramatic because she was scolded at. Children ohh, they would misbehave and once you beat them they would start crying” she had explained to our neighbor, Mr Ayola.

“Do you want to disgrace your father and I outside?” She scolded me when we got back inside, that was the day I understood that I had no one to protect ne not even my birth mother, I understood that she wasn't just weak compared to my father she was actually siding with his evil acts.

“My children won't go through what I went through”

~~~