Heart and Mind [Gentar & Sopan : BOBOIBOY] ✔

Heart and Mind

In which lack of communication is what broke them apart, but it's not their fault that fate built a brick wall between the two of them. Sopan wouldn't accept that they're just not meant to be, while Gentar is powerless to stop it.

"Why won't you look at me anymore?"
"...you wouldn't understand."

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Sopan, for all he acts (and is) the more mature one between the two of them, will still be Gentar's little baby brother. It's not like one can simply change their date of birth, yes? But settle down with these useless facts that everyone knows, being a younger brother has its own advantages... and disadvantages.

Sopan tried to ignore the signs, maybe he's overthinking it, maybe it wasn't true at all, but fact is, he's their parents' favorite. Everyone prefers him over his brother. It's not like Sopan dislikes it, it just felt unfair. He likes his brother, he adores Gentar like how the older adores him when they're young, but no one seems to share that sentiment as hard as he does.

That's the keywords, huh? When they're young. Truth is, their relationship isn't what people tend to imagine brothers to be. Truth is... they drifted apart.

Little Sopan doesn't get it, why? Why are they not as close as they used to be? Why won't Gentar spoil him with affection and annoy him with his suffocating love anymore? Sure, Sopan always says that he dislikes it, but the way Gentar grins at him teasingly afterwards... he knew it was a joke, right? Surely, he knew that Sopan loves their interaction as well?

...did he know Sopan loves him too? Of course, that should've been obvious...

Or it was supposed to be.

Sopan doesn't get it, even now. He knew why, but he didn't know how. Isn't Gentar better? Look at him, does he not shine as bright as a star? Does he not radiate kindness? Sopan felt so undeserving to be Gentar's point of affection, it just felt too precious to be given as freely as Gentar did.

Present day, it was no more.

Gentar doesn't feel like living in the same mansion anymore. He left early, went back late, always out, always far away from Sopan's reach.

'I miss you.' He wants to cry out, 'Why won't you look at me anymore?'

These achievements, these praises and the attention... what use of them if Gentar won't smile at him like he used to?

Every test he aces, every competition won, all these efforts and hard work... Sopan just wanted Gentar to look at him.

Where are the times where Gentar would praise him for the barest of things? Where are the times where his attention felt like granted?

...why is it so hard to reach him now?

Sopan rarely sees Gentar anymore these days. Whenever he did, he froze like the coward he secretly is and watched as his big brother walked away with a heavy heart.

'What do I say?'

'What do I do?'

'What will make him stay?'

Sopan felt like he didn't even know who his brother was anymore.

It ached more than any physical wound could ever hurt him.

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"You're staying here?"