is she mine?

32

max and lacey arrived at the race track, Lacey full of nerves as she walked past fans bellowing her and maxes names, begging for them to confirm the rumours or not.
they just smiled and waved at fans and went their seperate ways as they reached the garages.
Lacey was met with balloons, and her mechanics all cheering for her, some sad and some exited to see what the future brings for Mercedes.
Toto approached her and engulfed her immediately, kissing her forhead "oh my darling lace. who is going to give the paddock a run for their money?"
Lacey smiled back at Toto and shrugged, before locking eyes with elodie who was stood quite far away with a frown on her face, she yelled her over.
"im going to miss you Lacey." elodie started, before being pulled into a hug.
"you silly girl" Lacey laughed ; "you have my phone number, my details, please don't ever forget me.
i want you to keep contact , deal" Lacey whispered, before extending her pinkie towards the girl, who reluctantly met pinkies with hers.

the race concluded, Lacey p2, max p1 and lando p3.
all celebrations aside, all the cheering all the screaming all the fans, lacey felt a wave of sadness wash over her, a tingle of regret.
she hugged max, she hugged lando and walked off the podium for her post-race interviews.
every question was met with the same answer ; "everyone raced well today truly."

future.

"she walked into her drivers room and threw her head back and took in taking off the drivers suit, her helmet, her gloves. they all went into a box under the chair, and she could have burst into tears there and then, i always knew Lacey would have missed racing. even if she did what she thought was best for mila."

"and how did her retirement make you feel ?"

"honestly, i think not racing was somewhat the downfall of lacey. she became the best mother after quitting, but she was never the feisty, go getting Lacey we all fell in love with."

"i know that must have been hard on you. did she say anything about regretting her decision?"

i nod, and lick my lip anxiously. "you could see it in her eyes, every race she came to, she watched. you could tell the little girl inside her was upset she wasn't racing no longer."

the woman offered me a small, comforting smile, before she hit me with the question i never thought i could answer, and i really feared it for the longest time.

"would you ever let mila & maxim race?"

I blinked, and looked towards the floor

"im sorry?"

"im sorry, would you ever let your children race?"

"i honestly didn't know, me and lacey never spoke about letting the children race, let alone even start karting. milas old enough to start and she's never mentioned anything about it, she obviously looks at her mums trophy's, medals, for heavens sake she parades around in her helmets. maxim has only started speaking but I'll never hide it from him."

the lady got comfortable in her seat and extended a hand out to touch my thigh, in some form of solice

"it's not your fault max."

if only, if only everyone could stop telling me them five words.
the five words that bounce around my mind, that fall from everyone's lips when i see them. but in a way i do feel like it's mine.